Some day is just harder than the others.
I couldn't even get up for work today, so I had to call in sick, yes, indeed I'm sick, but not the way my boss think. I ate 4 donuts and ordered lots of McDonald. At first I felt good about the food, then later the guilt came as soon as the food went cold. I tried to threw up, but all I can do is letting out some of the soda and the blood from my throat. And that makes me feel worse, because I was supposed to threw up. I put knife on my wrist, but didn't have the courage to press it hard enough to make some wounds. I hate myself for being such a coward. I don't want to face reality, I don't want to go to work tomorrow, I don't want to see the b**** in the office who attack me behind my back. I even wish I can be hit by some speeding car on the road, so that I can relieved and my family can have some money. God, I'm so messed up......Dec 8, 2015