I feel like I don't matter

As soon as DH comes home, he is glued to his Xbox. On work days he usually plays 1-3 hours a day, and on his days off, it's even more. It's not just one particular game, it's all of his games.

I'm home alone all day because I'm not working right now, but I'm starting a new job soon. Literally the only time I really get a chance to go out of the house is to go grocery shopping once a week. We are on a tight budget so I can't go out and go shopping or to the movies or go to lunch and the weather is too hot for me to do anything outside. I don't really have any friends here yet, and I get really lonely during the day.

Every day it's the same. It's time for DH to come home and I get really excited to see him. He walks in the door, kisses me, changes out of his uniform, and turns on that stupid Xbox.

He does have some reasons for why he plays on the Xbox so much. He works all day and doesn't get a chance to relax until he comes home, and the Xbox is his way of relaxing. He made a good point that while he is at work I can go on the computer and watch TV as much as I want. He said it's not fair that he can't play Xbox as much as he wants when he is home. Another thing he does is he will play online with his dad and brother, and it's his way of catching up with them. (Some days he spends more time talking to them through the games than he does to me) He also says if he wasn't playing Xbox he would be bored because there is nothing else to do, which is kind of true because I do all of the cooking and cleaning since he's working. His only chore is to take the garbage out (and he doesn't even do it half the time I ask)

I've told him how I feel. That he's a zombie when he's on there, and that I'm lonely all day and when he comes home and he's on his Xbox it's like he isn't even there. I told him I feel like he likes playing the Xbox more than spending time with me. I even told him that I'm starting to get depressed. His reaction was so, unemotional. He just said I'm surprised you haven't gotten depressed sooner. (I have been, but I've tried hiding it from him as best as I can.) I thought maybe he would be surprised and be concerned, and ask me how long it's been going on, or something. But his reaction was like I just told him that it's cloudy outside today.

I asked him today if he could just play for an hour today, and he got upset and said that was like a "tease". Ummm I think an hour is plenty more than a tease, but oh well. We have had issues with his amount of time spent on the Xbox before. He always threatens "Fine, if it's such a problem, I'll throw the stupid Xbox away!" and I obviously tell him no, that's stupid. The Xbox isn't the problem, it's his time spent on it that is the issue!

I've talked to him and told him how I feel, and he says he feels bad that I'm so lonely at home all day, but it isn't fair that I put a limit on him playing Xbox .If I actually threw away or sold the Xbox he would be p*****. I am so lost. I don't know what to do anymore. Am I over reacting? How long do you allow your DH to play Xbox if you have a limit? Are there any other solutions?


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  • I've lived with my boyfriend for two years and we are in the same situation as you. Except, when he get's off work he gets mad at ME for still being on the xbox and wants to spend as much time as possible with me. The only time he plays the xbox is when i've fallen asleep or am studying. And before he met me he was a huge gamer nerd!
    find a man who wants to spend every second with you cause he loves u that much. you deserve it!
    much love,
    random lady on the internet xxx

  • You should start banging other guys, tell him you're playing modern whorefare black cops and you rule at it...the sheer fact of knowing other guys will be pounding you senseless while he plays with his joystick should be enough to remind him he's not 13 anymore and to handle his sh*t.
    That is all.

  • I have a surprise for you! Your husband hates your f****** guts! Relax! It's very common! Xbox is kicking your ass all over the f****** house because you always have to get your way! Yeah, I know what is going on there? OH, but it's so unfair, you say...no! either you want a husband, or you don't! Stop being the controlling b**** (that you know you are!), and stop moralizing! You have lost your husband forever probably!

  • What does dh stand for? I am a guy and have been married almost 15 years. I have put my wife through this as well, xbox and before that computer. I finally decided I needed to change, a few years ago. I new it was bad when I would turn down s** and keep playing. Its also hard being young and poor, I have been there and xbox is a cheap way to keep busy. I think its something he has to decide to change in his life.
    Start small ask for 2 nights a week off with no xbox. But you will need to help him fill this time. Try to find something you both will like and fill it with this open time. If you do nothing but sit and watch tv and its something he doesn't like to watch he will be board and be thinking about how he could be spending his time still xbox playing. Just an idea but exercise is free and will make you both feel better abourt your self's. If he finds other things to fill his time he will back off playing. The other thing that might help is take some interest in a game maybe there is something you could both play. Just some ideas. You sound like a good person and I think he is to I think you will find a way through this, hope it helps

  • I think DH stands for Dear Husband..unless it's his initials.

  • Next time he comes n from work b naked get on ur knees and suck him he might wake up

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