Me.

I'm a fourteen year old girl.
Ever since I was really little, I liked girls.
I didn't know I wasn't supposed to.
Now I know.
I am disgusted by the thought of having s** with a guy.
I want to have s** with a girl.
To have a relationship with somebody like me.
I am disgusted by myself.
Nobody knows that I'm a lesbian.
Fifth grade was the worst year for me.
I was a tomboy and had no interest in finding a boyfriend.
People made fun of me and spread rumors about me, so I changed quickly.
I fixed the way I looked and acted.
I dressed girlier, played with other girls, grew my hair out, etc- all to hide what I was so ashamed of.
I'm going into high school now, and I think I need to come out.
I shouldn't be embarassed about my sexuality.
But I am.
I am surrounded by discrimination and hatred towards people like me.
I'm disgusting.
They say I will go to H*** for being this way.
The wrong way.
I wish with all of my heart that I could be straight, be happy with a boy, be able to love and appreciate a boy.
I'm just not able to.
I didn't choose this!
I don't want to be different!
I don't want to have to deal with all of this.
But I'll have to.
This is who I am.
How I was made.
And I will deal with all of the discrimination and hatred.
I will put up with it for my happiness.
There's a decision I have to make that may change my life.
I am scared of the day I have to make that decision.

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  • Why do you feel the need,to reveal your sexuality? Are you seeking acceptance? Do you need your school peers acceptance? Let me advise you,you don't need anyone's acceptance!! So stop trying to seek it.
    You don't need to tell anyone! Dress how you want to dress and just be you!
    If people question your sexuality,f*** them! It's not there business! You're at a stage in your life,when exploring your sexuality,is natural! I can understand,if you live within a social environment which I unaccepting of "gay people" if that's the case,keep your cards close to your chest,until you finish high school.If you decide to go to college,maybe go to one within a state,that's more diverse and open minded,in regards to a persons sexuality.
    Maybe,try the internet and chat to people who are gay.
    Remember,you're more than your sexuality.A person's sexuality,isn't a persons entire identity and existence :)

  • Its fine, everyone is attracted to different people, and if someone tells you you're gross tell them to go s**** themselves.
    I'm bisexual myself and I have lots of friends that like the same gender.
    In my school we have a Gay-Straight alliance club where everyone is safe to talk about their sexuality.

  • Im bisexual and my true friends accept me the way I am. You need to find people who understand you and your struggles. I hope my words help you in any way.

  • I like how all the anti-gays commenting here about how being gay is "wrong" can't even use proper grammar or spelling...

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, your guilt is just centred around how the world and society (especially religion) decide you should live. They have no right to do that, your life is your own, and anyone who tells you otherwise is ignorant and has completely missed the point of what a benevolent, omniscient God is. He knows all, and loves all... if being gay is so wrong, then why does he let it happen? He lets it happen (if he even exists) because there's nothing wrong with it. Your guilt is only the product of ignorant people who cling to the interpretations of religion made by man, not what a God (if he exists) genuinely wants for ALL his children, ALL made in his image.
    To the negative commentors (who can't spell or write worth damn so God only knows why you'd listen to their uneducated preachings), as a human being I am ashamed to count you prejudiced, cruel, ignorant people among our society. If you truly are a follower and believer in God and Christ, you should know better than to ostracise anyone for any reason other than the most vile of crimes. Of which, homosexuality is not one.
    *MistaJ

  • *deciding how you should live* ... apologies for that blatant grammatical error while writing about their failings in the same respect. Their comments just angered me greatly...

  • Is wrong to be that way,God created man and woman nothing between,I still believe in family,gays are destroying that!seek Jesus and see what when wrong,family is a man and woman and their children,gays will never be able to produce life!and worst part is when they adopt innocent children taking away their real chance to grow in a real family and tell them is ok to be gay when they are not!

  • that is a load of bull s*** half the people in the bible were gay dumbass u obviousially havent read it very well

  • Um if u havent noticed their kinda is something wrong withliking same s**. If there wasnt then you wouldnt feel guilty u have not grown up liking girls, u just think u have.if there was really no problem with it u wud have already told everyone about it and u wudnt be scared to tell ppl how u honestly feel. it is not true that u will go 2 h*** or die for this because everyone deserves a second chance, God will give u a second chance because he loves u. dont u want to have a family? it is also very untrue wen ppl say it is ok 2 be bi/gay/lesbian because it is not. u know for a fact that it is not because if u honestly believed it was then u wud have told everyone already and they wudnt treat u the way they do.do wut ever u want to do but if God wanted ppl to become gay/l**** then God wud have only made one gender although i believe in being accepted 4 who u r. i guess its up 2 u, because u seem nice i want 2 pray for u and pray that God will come through and help u.

  • Tere is no God dumb ass.

  • I haven't told anyone because of people like you. People like you who will try to convince me that I am wrong, bad, evil, etc. That it's wrong to love who I love. I'm not afraid of being gay, I'm afraid of having to face a world full of people like you.

  • There is nothing wrong with being gay. Its part of who you are. There is too much focus put on gay or straight. We shouldnt focus on what divides us, but what unites us. You have to be able to accept yourself, and love yourself for who you are, every part of who you are. People might not always be nice about it...I know from personal experience...my family shunned me for a while when I came out as Pansexual, but they eventually got over it. I know how hard it is, but once you are ready, and you do come out, you will feel much better...even if people arnt nice sometimes..just the fact that your not hiding yourself feels better...good luck

  • There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being lesbian. If anyone ever tells you otherwise, just smile and sarcastically say, "Thank you SO MUCH for sticking your nose into MY personal business, because I TOTALLY asked for your ignorant opinion!" and walk away like a boss. :3

  • Do what you need to do to survive the next few years (whether that means coming out, or just fake like you are not interested in any type of relationship at the moment). Then, if possible, go to college or get a job in a part of the world that is more accepting.

    Canada is great, lots of box knockers, and most people are quickly turning atheist/agnostic if they are not already, so you won't hear all the preachy bullshit; you can just o***** however you want as long as it is by yourself or with a (group of) consenting adult(s).

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