Dearest daddy

I f****** hate you. it burns whenever i look at you. how could you leave my mother hanging, you took aways all her dreams of having a happy family. most of all why did you have to give her me? she was better off alone as a young woman still searching for her identity, but you didn't. you want to know how shes doing, well you know she works an 9-5 job just to get by, she cannot have a social life outside of work anymore because she works 3 f****** jobs. h*** i work now just trying to lighten the load. i used to look up to you, love you, i used to join millions of sports and wear boy clothes just to impress you. you never came to any of my events, not even my baptism, but your name is still there. my mother at times cannot even look at me because i'm the exact physical replica of you. i see you with your cheating hoe of a wife and 2 kids that you take care of and i always used to wonder why couldn't that be me? i understand now that you left because of me. you are disgusted with me, you wish me the ill of the earth as said "you make me so sick i wanna vomit" i hate you so much that i wish you died, i wish that i was never created so my mom could've had a better life, now its wasting away and shes only 29, i see it in her eyes all the regret, all the mistakes that she made and now i'm the physical proof. shes scared of love now and so am i. i can't trust any one not even my bestfriend steven. Roxxi is dying with brain cancer and mom is sucidal. just the word of "father" sends me into a fit of rage, i cannot even go to church without getting disgusted by all those families. i drank a bottle of jack daniels the other day and to day a shot of tequila. i got suspended for beating up a bully and bullying to. see what you have made me to be? i don't give a s*** anymore and i stole all of mom's and the neighbor's money and leaving to nebraska. don't worry she doesn't care, nobody does. roxxi is meeting god next week and mom maybe a month later. when will you dad? i hope not god but the devil. burn in h*** m***********

May 14, 2012

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  • It is so much easier to blame than to overcome. Take the high road, and maybe over time you may find that your mom and dad had real issues... and him leaving may have saved her life.

    Want to be a drunk and a bully, go ahead... but that is the weak way out. Step up, and be counted as more than a survivor. Remember, Self Esteem is earned, not given!

  • lets run off together babe....

  • Just beware to not become and idiot like him, don't make your mother suffer even more, don't steal her the little life she still has. Why not try to help her and yourself? She's your family, only you know what she's been through. Try to Love her too, don't abandon her like that other b****. Not everything is lost, even if someone's dying... you can always give them a good death. LOVE is LOUDER.

    And don't hate me but all this made me want to kiss you.

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