I am scared of what will happen in the next four months. My ex girlfriend, for whom I still feelings for is leaving for an exchange program abroad. We broke up more than two years ago and even though our relationship had been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster ride, in the last couple of months we are trying to find a more natural balance. At first it took time, a phone call, a text message, then we went out a couple of times and at the end we even slept together.
We both had other relationships in these last few years, but for me being with her is so natural. We are not together or anything and every time we spend some time together, whether its just a stroll outside or sleeping together it leaves me thoughtful but even more convinced about my feelings.
Now she is leaving and she will be gone for four months and I'm scared she will meet someone. I'm scared that I will just be left here, hanging and I'm scared that if the eventuality might take place, this time I will leave and never look back, since I cannot bare to go through it all one more time. I want to wait for her and I want her to wait for me. But should she find someone, I'm scared that I will have to dig up inside me the courage to turn my back on all that I knew, all that I loved and never look back, no matter the consequences.