I want my wife's cousin NOW
I am married and my wife's cousin just got married a few months ago. I'm infatuated with her, I love her, and she is the most beautiful thing that walks on two legs I've ever seen in this world. She's from Saudi Arabia, but is very liberal for her country. She was apparently sexting and many more other things before her marriage with a guy in the US over 50 (she just turned 30). I'm 44. I've confessed to her that I think she is the most beautiful woman in the world and that I love her. But I think she wants to protect her cousin. I know it would cost my marriage and family. Still I would pay $10,000 to be in bed with this young lady just once. It's so funny she would have been so willing a few months ago and now, no go. I'm so jealous of the over 50 guy with what he probably did with her. I get to chat with her most days, but the subjects are usually neutral, especially since I told her that I loved her. What do I do? Is it best just to keep the status quo? I just can't get her out of my mind and I constantly look at her pictures even at work all day. I'm literally going insane. I can't bear to lose her because she thinks I'm coming on too strong. I might die if I lose my family. I just have a no-win situation, I think. What do I do? I just know I'm going to lose my mind. There's what's right on one hand and what I want on the other, it seems. What...in the name of heaven...do I do? Some days I just want to scream! She is so nice and kind, so beautiful. She evokes such emotion in me, I just tear up sometimes. And yet, it feels like she's not mine and never will be.