I'm in love with my ex, my bestfriend. We've dated for like a week about a year and a half ago. I feel like he was embarrassed to date me, like he didn't want to be seen with me, like he didn't want people to know we were dating. This has happened to me before with a girl in middle school. It makes me feel terrible that people are actually embarrassed to date me. Am I that ugly? Am I that stupid? It's things like that that make me not want to live anymore. I honestly believe that no one would miss me if I just died. I feel like I'm just someone there to talk to for a little bit then carry on. I feel like if i was gone everyone would just be a little sad for a bit and then the next day they'd completely forget. I wish I had the urge to keep living.