Wrapped in my head

Honestly I feel a bit crazy most of the time. Ever since the end of my last relationship and the last school year ending I've been trying to fill the hole in my heart by whatever means necessary, but I am too timid for it to work. This summer I felt as if I was in high school again and fell for this boy who all the girls were in love with. I convinced myself I had shot with him, but honestly I am kidding myself. Now that the new school year is starting and I have a new job I can feel the rush of l*** coming up to me again. This time it's one of my coworkers who, incidentally, was my Spring Semester anonymous heartthrob in a 200 person class. I keep beating myself up about if he could ever like me and if we're compatible but we just met a week ago. I am embarrassed at how I keep pretending as if I need a guy to fill the space in my heart. Or maybe I'm also embarrassed at how easily I am falling for people now that I'm alone. I don't know why I'm confessing this to the world, but I thought it would be better than a whiny text to a friend who will think I'm acting like a kid in middle school.

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