Stepdad hates his stepson still
I haven't liked him since I met him eight years ago. He was a self-centered, spoiled, whiny brat, and still is.
Now, yes, a 4-y/o *IS* self-centered. But his mom (my wife #2) and his father spoil the little shitball, keeping him from physically-taxing chores, because, y'know, it could tire him out.
He's 12 y/o now and has never raked a leaf, mowed a lawn, pulled a weed (without whining like a baby-b****), or lifted a shovel full of snow. I get mad at this, and want him to contribute with (meaningful) chores like this. But, "It's not your responsibility to raise him." my wife says.
So, fine. But I can't stand dealing with this little f****** cupcake every day. His father (a Casper Milquetoast, big government type) is just pathetic. Despite his political leaning (which, honestly, I can dismiss) he is chronically "sick" or nursing some sort of bronchial infestation, hacking every time he picks up his son for parenting time.
A word about the (arguably liberal) philosophies that my wife and her ex have bought into (that is, to turn over more and more of one's life and decisions to government, especially the public schools) is partially to blame.
I think we've all watched (with growing horror) the trend in our schools, like:
• Self esteem is king
• You are your kid's best friend
• Everyone's a winner! etc.
This mamby-pamby approach to child rearing is destroying (has destroyed) our youth. They feel entitled to happiness, liberated from judgment, and deserving of success, no matter what.
SS is so used to having his problems solved for him that he’s afraid of making a mistake. His mom and dad shield him from any and all failure. It drives me insane.
He doesn't wash dishes because, you know, his mom thinks that it's a kind of icky job and there’s sharp knives and a pizza cutter, and he didn't use all of those dishes, so he shouldn't have to clean up after our mess.
REALLY? I’d think that cutting his finger while mishandling a knife is, I dunno, good schooling.
He's at "that age" too where he mockingly disrespects his mom, and that infuriates me. He tries to be humorous (but isn't) and laughs at everything he says. It's annoying as h***.
Whomever said it in the previous posts is spot on: kids are stupid, ignorant creatures (and I have two late-teen natural sons and teach high school, so I should know). Both of my sons are stupid and ignorant -- gradually becoming less so. It's bullshit how "bright a youngster" he/she is. Their brains are mushy masses of forming tissue. But, to my SS's mom and dad, you'd think he s**** golden turds.
What is it that makes a parent think they're helping their kid by protecting him from hard realities and natural consequences? Is it because he's their only child? I think that has TONS to do with it. He is (and he knows he is) the center of their orbit. It's disgusting how he manipulates them.
Does anyone else's 12+ y/o SS or SD YELL to be tucked in at night?
Is ice cream before bedtime -- EVERY SINGLE NIGHT (I'm not kidding!) -- a treat or EXPECTED? You wouldn't believe the fuss he puts up when told that, because he was late getting ready for bed, it's too late to eat his nightly ice cream treat.
I can't stand how he runs into a challenge and then STOPS, whines, and then waits to be told EXACTLY what to do, then moves along blithely as if he's found the cure for cancer.
I feel the need for some cowboy justice: I while ago, I took the family to a dude ranch and they went horseback riding. You should have seen the look on my wife's face as she returned -- COMPLETELY at her wit's end with her inconsolable, whiny, incessantly complaining brat. EVERYTHING came into perspective when, on the way to the stable, the cowboy leading the ride said -- half to himself, half to her -- "What that boy needs is a day shoveling manure to adjust his attitude!"
I tell you the truth, I almost jumped out of my seat and kissed that cowboy! He knew EXACTLY how to deal with a spoiled brat -- and he "just knew" this without ever having to read Dr. Spock or listen to Oprah. It took him all of about 3 minutes of listening to his whimpering to know what builds (or refines) character and respect. After 12+ years, my SS's mom and dad still haven't a clue.
I've rambled and ranted, but I can't tell this to anyone else. Thanks for reading. I hope at least a few of you can relate.