How can I tell my wife's friend is flirting with me?

So my wife's good friend has been very flirtatious (I think) with me. She calls me beautiful, touches my leg, laughs way too much at my jokes but I don't know if she's being serious or just friendly. She is married also but her husband is way older and she complains about him a lot. She is really attractive and I've had s** dreams about her before and I'm pretty sure if she tried to seduce me I would let her (save your terrible husband comments for another time). I guess my question is how can I tell if she wants me to take it further? What should I say or do to confirm this?

Nov 19, 2012

Related Posts


  • newest
  • most popular
  • oldest
  • She's definitely flirting with you. She will ride you like a scooter, if you make a move.

  • Like a bull, not a scooter

  • Just asked her.

  • Allright... I'll take one for the team. Whays her number?

  • I have the same sort of problem my wife's friend is recently single and when she is around in my house she always wear dresses r skirts with tight bodysuit and over the knee boots with a big heel which she rubs against my leg and likes it when I rub my foot back on her leg

  • Tell you want to f*** her

  • F*** the living h*** out of her!...

  • You can do whatever you want as long as the woman is not married. And also, marriage has become a business lately as for a woman marrying a man of a certain status or character seems to be the norm, and the norm to bear children because it seems like the right thing to do. There is no love or spirituality in these relationships, just moral and ethical right down to legal. So basically, these kinds of marriages the business part is like you going to a business only to find you cheated on them because you found another business more quick and easy or cheap to suit your needs but only to find it has better qualities or lesser. Everything is your choice.

  • What makes it okay to cheat on your wife and no, I won't save the bad husband remark until later, because you're a terrible person.i if your wife were doing this to you. What would you want her to do? It's not worth throwing your marriage away. You are better than this. As a guy who has done this it is like a cancer, iit will catch up with you and kill you. You are so much better than this and you know it.

  • Is he better? How do you know?

  • Be careful or you might fall off your pedestal. I suppose you know everybody's marital dynamics without even asking any questions. Please tell me, what is my marriage like?

  • Sucky for your wife as you seem selfrighteouss and arrogant .

  • Agreed

  • First of all, you are not throwing your marriage away by testing the waters with this girl, by seeing what her feelings are and where a relationship with her might lead: you're just exploring possibilities, and there's no harm or sin in that. That is actually not even a violation of your wedding vows, because you're just seeing what's in her mind, and whether or not you might develop real feelings for her. Once you find out those two things -- what she wants with you, and what you might want with her -- then you MAY be stepping into slightly more dangerous territory, if you take steps toward entering an affair with this woman, but even that is dangerous only if you do it without exercising discretion and setting ground rules with the other woman at the beginning. Then, when the affair is underway, you may very well discover that you DO want to throw your marriage away, and maybe even want to throw it away EAGERLY, because this other woman is hotter, younger, better in bed, better looking, more exciting, a better partner or makes you prouder to be with her than your wife. Judging by what you've said about this girl, and the way you've said it, I think you may already have begun that evaluation and discovered that she may be a much-better fit for you, but you are nowhere NEAR making a commitment to that outcome: you're just having a bit of harmless fun (and hopefully, a bit of harmless sexual fun), and hoping to make another woman feel better about herself than her much older husband is capable of. Ignore the moralizers, and enjoy the girl. A LOT.

  • So wrong you test the water before you say I do, now it's time to be a man and stand by your decision

  • Exactly. Real men stand up for those they love and do the right thing even if it means choosing an option that is not as beneficial to themselves. Weak men give in to their nature. This is evolution, there is never going to be a time when their aren't younger more attractive women than the one you're with. Your body will always want. Your life will pass you by and at the end of it you will look back at your potential to affect others positively and create love and you will feel more sadness than you can possibly know. This insight comes from talking with my father as he was dying last year. Don't be weak like my father, this is the only way you will find joy and meaning in life.

  • Perhaps women should stop depriving men of s** and lying about who they’re while dating us. We give our lives to that one person and they expect everything out of us, which is fine because I enjoy providing as a man, but at the end of the day when your Wife comes up with every excuse in the book for not having s** or if she does she doesn’t do anything, it’s beyond confusing. We shouldn’t have to do backflips for s**. I shouldn’t have to be rejected several times before it manages to happen once a month! when it does happen, she doesn’t do anything. Your right about Men making the choice and sticking by their word like a man. Women ought to keep in mind that some of us, put an effort into committing to one woman not only for companionship but for intimacy with one woman instead of choosing to live single and have s** with multiple people a week, like a man w****. The betrayal impacts men in a bad way, more than you know. It’s easy to sit back as the woman on your pedestal. But that’s okay because AI realistic human looking robots are right around the corner. On the other hand, women will become desperate to marry a hard working and caring man. We will be in high demand for you women out there. You’ll actually have to start giving a s*** about people other than yourself.

  • The only mistake your father made was you

  • "Real men" vs "weak men". Wow. Evolution huh? Evolution is survival of the fittest. Monogamy is literally the opposite of evolution dumb ass. As for your insight, you warn of sadness that we pathetic cretins could not possibly know, based on what you heard from your father, who you insult and call weak. A weak person couldn't handle the afterthought of s**? Suprise surprise. Nobody was ever on their deathbed saying "I wish I would have had less s**" so f*** you and kill yourself.

  • You are a f****** clueless c***. The lerson you were replying to had it SPOT ON

  • A******.

  • This website has made me lose all hope I had left in humanity. You're all pigs and i'd love to genocide us all. This isn't a joke, my new lifes work is to kill us all.

  • Kill yourself

  • Shut the f*** up all of you. You can not stop anyone that has any kind of feelings. History will always repeat itself, get use to it. Say whatever you want because it doesn't matter. Everyone needs to stop being so f****** jealous and let go, you have no control over A person. Marriage not....if they are loyal to'll know. If'll know as well. For the last time shut the f*** up about being disloyal, dishonest and so on...,we all know what you s right and what not s wrong. If you have feelings then run with them and don't look back. The rest of you loyal c*** bags shut the f*** up.

  • Actually, yes, you can. -the anthropologist

  • You are an idiot. Hope that helps. -Squadfather

  • your missing the point. what the OP is developing with this woman is love and so its beautiful and its noble and its worth working on. hes not a pig and were not pigs for helping or wanting to see it happen. love is love no matter where or when or how it happens. the fact that both of them are married doesnt mean that they cant love other people. he can love her and i think he does and she can love him and i think she does. wouldnt it be a sad world if we could only love one person?

  • Your right, god made all animals to f*** each other,with out them having to get married so why not let humans f*** anyone they like with out them having to.

  • Amen!

  • There's no amen in that! It's a godless sin of the flesh. That f****** a****** needs some Jesus in his life to straighten his unfaithful ass the f*** out! And to that f****** a****** sinner who covets his neighbor's wife, get your ass the f*** in the Bible, get away from d****** satan and get your f***** up ass in Church and hear the WORD!

    P.S. I'm calling down the HOLY SPIRIT to start working on your ass and get you right with GOD!!! I'm doing this in JESUS NAME!!!! So don't be surprised in you get a HOLY SPIRIT spanking! Someday when you kneel before the risen CHRIST you'll be glad I did all that you stupid l****** f***!!!!

  • The first thing the holy spirit did included incest( although it doesn't say it in any bible. God(a burning bush by the way) created Adam and Eve( a male and a female) they had 3 sons( yes 3 sons) Kain ,Abel,and Seth( the one you don't hear about). That's 4) males and 1) female. One killed to other for his Mothers compassion (s** yes s**) . if you don't believe that your an idiot. Be cause we didn't get to this point in evolution unless someone made their Mother pregnant and then again in older age made their sister pregnant also to keep the blood line going . Incest at its purest from the beginning of time. Never talked about never explained. The Bible even says love thy neighbor as thyself. It doesn't say morally and can be interpreted as sexual.

  • As a true believer, would you let God....
    C**. Your mouth?

  • What are a bunch of holy rollers even doing on this site? Testing out the waters yourselves?

  • That's what I'm saying these f****** can take that righteous bullshit somewhere else

  • What ??? there is a god ? hahhahaha ... who is delusional here ?

  • Amen

  • ^ ^ ^ ^ MORON ^ ^ ^ ^

  • Ditto. right on.

  • 44f here and while I truly want to see you have a relationship with this woman because I'm married and I just love the thrill of cheating and want other women to know that feeling, I have to be a sort of wet blanket on your plans or at least provide a cautionary note. Many many women are naturally flirtatious (I'm one) and yours may be one of those. If you haven't already done this you need to see her operating around other men to see if what she's directed at you is the same thing she directs at other men or if there's reason to believe that the way she talks to you and behaves around you is something unique and thus more reliable. You have to do this and you have to do it BEFORE you declare your feelings for her or expose yourself to embarrassment in reaching out to her. As I said I really want you to hook up with this woman because married gals need the sexual attention that's usually expended on young single gals in bars but I don't want you to humiliate yourself or blow up your marriage when it could have been prevented. Enjoy the girl and all the s** that she'll bring to your life but be careful!

  • 44f I am in love with you .... i guess that's the best advice one could get in the outlined circumstance... Hats off... very mature. My faith is restored in the otherwise doomed humanity as only the sub 100 IQ couples are breeding at the moment while the smart ones remain childless. the future looks rather grim :(

  • And i hope together with the Cheating you get the STD you deserve b****

  • STDs are for fools who cannot trust their partners, pick hem accordingly, or use protection. After multiple affairs, I'm still clean, as are my partners. STDS are not some voodoo magic meted out as punishment for "sinners". It's science. Welcome to the 21st century. Ps my palms are not hairy either.

  • Condoms suck. Bareback or nothing, so... nothing.

  • It wouldn't be helpful for me to suggest specific approaches, since I don't know the woman at all and you know her well, but find a way to imply to her in conversation -- to which only you and she are parties, naturally -- that you are romantically interested in her (don't use the word "s**" or "physical"; make it more suggestive than direct). As hot as she seems, she will respond accordingly. But if you're wrong, and I'm wrong, be sure that whatever you've said you can quickly "clarify" and back away from, allowing yourself room to apologize for the "misunderstanding", explain that you meant something more objective and not at all offensive, apologize again, and then excuse yourself from the conversation. That last part may prove to be awkward, but at least you'll then know we've misread her and you'll have a plausible explanation for what you said, if your wife ever learns of it. Best wishes!

  • This was pretty helpful along with the comment third from the bottom. She already compliments me so throwing some back that are stronger may work also (what girl doesn't like a compliment?) I agree that the more physical touching (arm around should, extended hugs) may give her a better idea. I don't want to be too physical but at the same time let her know.

    What do you guys think about saying things such as "if I were your husband..." or "if I had a hot wife like you..."?

  • YES, YES, YES, ABSOLUTELY! Now you're on the right track! BOTH of those things are totally excellent avenues into the conversation you want to have with her. They put in her mind the fact that you think of yourself as a realistic alternative to a husband she complains about, and that you would never give her a reason to complain ("If I were your husband"), that you think of her as a superior and sexier alternative to your own wife and that you think of her as hot ("If I had a hot wife like you"), and that you think of the two of you -- even if only in fantasy -- as a married couple. And what do married couples do? They make love! I'm not going to tell you that you have to consummate a physical relationship with this woman this week, but the holidays are a great excuse for seeing her, talking to her, touching her, flirting with her and flattering her, and you should definitely not allow Thanksgiving week to pass without advancing your front line (so to speak) much, much, much closer to hers. One other recommendation: start thinking about what you can get this girl for Christmas, maybe as a secret present that you tell no one else about. Think back through your conversations with her, or even things your wife has said about her, that touched on her tastes in fashion, jewelry, books, music, etc. Find something personal -- but not susceptible of being interpreted as offensive, overreaching or oversexualized -- and go get it, have it professionally wrapped, and begin planning how and when you'll give it to her. It may be that, by then, the affair will have already begun and you'll be giving it to her while you are in bed with her, but if not, you'll need to choose a place where you know you can give it to her without her husband or your wife seeing what you're doing, OR her reaction. I have to say that I am very excited for you, and I hope you find a way to connect with this girl in the way you think she wants to connect with you. I wish you only the best!

  • You are opening a BIG can of worms!

  • And one other possibility. Since she complains to you about her husband, you could try "complaining" about your wife. And here, you can afford to test the sexual realm a bit, indicating that (whatever's closest to true) your wife doesn't have much stamina, doesn't like to experiment, refuses to do certain things (a***, toys, lingerie, watersports, etc.), has lost interest in s**, or won't let you get on her near as often as she once did, and so forth. NONE of it needs to be true, and the idea isn't that you give her specifics that are troubling by themselves, but simply that you let her know that, LIKE HER, there's dissatisfaction in YOUR marriage, too, particularly if any of the complaints you've heard from her involve the husband's sexual performance: if THAT's the case, then you should feel free to make up and share with her a fiction about how much more you need from your wife than you're getting. That puts you and this woman in the same boat on the same body of water at the same time, and could lead to the two of you seeking relief from marital disappointments in one another's arms. I really do think you're onto something -- something HOT -- with this girl, and I definitely think you should pursue it.

  • These are all fantastic suggestions. I do have one situation very soon that I can use. I asked her to find out what my wife want's for xmas a few weeks ago and after some pestering she found out. I sent her the obligatory thank you email response that said "I owe you big time for doing this. Just tell me what you want." No response yet. Perhaps I could have worded the email differently?

  • In curious to know how things have progressed. Has she responded to ur email?

    On a similar note I'm much in the same situation. My wife's friend visits our house a lot and surprisingly only when I am also home.
    When my wife calls her to hang out just the two of them she always finds herself busy.
    I met her actually while I was dating my wife and I introduced them. My wife soon found out they had common friends and also found out from one of those friends that she was crushing on me when I met her and had admitted to trying to get my attention.
    She compliments me all the time and and being single she often describes what she wants her husband to look like, and my wife thinks she's always describing me.

    I often catch her checking me out end even thou at first I didn't care for it, it now caught my interest because u see she dresses up tryes to get my attention as much as possible.

    This past week however she started hitting on my wife as well and my wife didn't think anything of it at first until she offered to kiss my wife on the lips so she can taste the new Chapstick my wife had bought. Her exact words were "well, you know if we were 'really really good friends' you would let me kiss you on the lips just to see what your Chapstick tastes like...." My wife blushed and felt uncomfortable but at the same time she laughed it off trying to change the subject without saying no.

    My wife visits family every other month and is gone for a few weeks at a time. My hope is that doring that time she visits our house unannounced -- as she often does. It hasn't happend yet, and I believe because my wife tells her "don't visit next week I'm out of town."

    Will I ever pursue the opportunity? No! Can I say that I will say no if she asks for it? I'm not so sure!

  • Leave it alone.

  • no its fine: if it were more suggestive it would have been too much. you cracked open a window and she may either crawl through it or open it further herself. well done!

  • I agree. I think you worded it just perfectly for the circumstances, "Just tell me what you want", suggesting that you'll do anything FOR her or give anything TO her, and that's what you want to do, and that's what you want her to understand. Now you need to find out what this girl likes, something personal (or even intimate), and give it to her for Christmas, as irecommended above. And you need to make absolutely certain, if it is at all financially possible, that what you give her is substantially nicer and more expensive than what you give your wife, and that she's aware of that fact. Yes, women do love compliments, as you noted, but they love presents even more, especially expensive presents. And it would be even better if it were something nicer and more expensive than whatever her husband is likely to get her for Christmas: you want to establish yourself as not only a VIABLE alternative to her husband, but a PREFERABLE alternative to her husband, and not just sexually but in EVERY imaginable way. Get her thinking that way and start tyhe process during the holidays. Another possibility is to create a Twelve-Days-type atmosphere with her -- "just between the two of us", if she seems to be responding to your other approaches -- and give her smaller gifts every one for twelve days, and make ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that she understands that the Twelve-Days treatment is something you're only showering on her, NOT ON YOUR WIFE, and that you'd like it to become a tradition with her, even if it only ever remains a secret tradition. You've definitely got this moving on the right track, and you definitely need to keep it up (so to speak)! :)

  • call her during the day and invite her to coffee or lunch where its just the two of you. if shes not interested she wont accept and if she is interested she will show up and tell you what you are so wanting to hear from her. she sounds good to go and i think youre in for a wild ride and a fun one. dont take the affair so seriously just enjoy the s**.

  • Seriously? Why cheat on your wife? Is your wife"s friend worth loosing your wife if she would to find out? Respect your marriage and love your wife. Stay.away from that woman as much you can. Simple. Unless your tired of your wife and marriage then get a divorce. Don't dirty yourself by that kind of women and do something you will regret. Don't make it complicated. Stay away from that woman and make suggestions to your wife about not wanting to invite her friend to your house or even tell your wife.about it. In other words don't do something stupid. Hope this helps.

  • You b****** commenting saying all that cheating s*** I hope your husband is on this b**** giving your best friend or your mom d***

  • Right on!

  • You need to stop waiting for her to make a move, and make one yourself, even if it's a small one. If boldness isn't in your nature, just wait until there's a party (Thanksgiving is this week, and there should be open houses, visiting, etc., in your social group, right?) and ease her to the side, and just start flirting with her and flattering her directly ("Damn, girl, you look GREAT tonight!", really laying it on), in a way that makes it pretty clear that you find her very attractive. If what you've been reading into her actions has been right, she'll pick up the thread and carry it. If she doesn't pick it up, you have to hand it to her and just say how you'd like to be better friends with her, or even that you think about her a lot, or would like to see her more, or wish there were some way you could make the married life she complains about better or easier or provide some distraction to it. Another alternative is this: if it is the practice in your circle for the guys to kiss the women goodbye at the end of a gathering, make your kiss a little longer, or warmer, or softer, or nearer her lips, or her ear, or her neck, and while you're kissing her, rub her back in a very sensual way, perhaps even pausing over the strap of her bra, so she knows you were searching for it. It seems to me that you won't need much subtley - I think you've already laid all the groundwork and she wants you to pick up her husband's slack and do all the things he isn't doing for her - and that she'll probably jump at the chance to climb up on you. Repeatedly. Good luck, my friend!!

  • If you don't bang it I will.

    - Frank

  • Um, flirt and touch back...duh???

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Reason for reporting this post
Report this comment
Reason for reporting this comment
Delete this post?