I don't love my wife anymore

Maybe it says it all that I have put this confession into relationships rather than love but the fact is that after 30 years we have grown apart and now I have met a woman who was a girlfriend when I was 16 and began a relationship with her.

She's funny, incredibly sexy and just loves me to bits. So much so that her long term partner of 20 years in a millionaire and she is willing to walk away from him any time I ask. She has kept track of me for nearly 40 years, through her first marraige, through a terrible time she had after that collapsed and all through the comfortable life she is living now. She still has a teddy bear I gave her when we were together, she still has my photos and a lot of the letters I sent her. I thought she was nuts, a bunny boiler at one point since "why would anyone want me so badly" so I finished with her for 6 months worried that she would end up on the doorstep or do something else crazy, but it didn't happen and eventually I got back in touch with her because I missed her so much.

All round, she is perfect for me, worships the ground I walk on and yet knows me well enough to know my faults and weaknesses, but I can't be with her.

I can't be with her because my wife doesn't have many friends and me leaving her would leave her desolate. Even though I'm sure she doesn't love me anymore that's not the point, she relies on me. she has stood by me and is the mother of my children. As well as that I can't be with my lover because I'm not a rich man by any means and it wouldn't be right to drag her away from the great life she has now to one much less grand, maybe not abject poverty but certainly very ordinary and much more limited means.

That's my confession, thank you for reading it,and I feel much better for getting it off my chest even though I know it's a problem without an answer.

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  • OH... this changes everything. In that case you might be doing both of you a favor by following your heart. Also if there is no love from either end kids can feel it. Life is short and you should live it happily. I can not believe she lived a 2nd life for 5 years and still lied. She should be ashamed of herself. This might be what you call Karma coming her way.... You sound like a wonderful person. You deserve better! I wish you the best

  • Thank you for your comment, maybe I should have put more detail in the original posting but I didn't want to make it too complicated to read. Anyhow, the reason I know my wife doesn't love me is she had an affair with my boss which lasted about 5 years when we were first married and only broke it off when she gave the man involved an ultimatum to leave his wife or leave her and he chose his wife. This was when I found out, and I know I should have left her then but she lied to me and told me the scenario was the other way around, he gave her the ultimatum and she chose me, so I stayed. I only found out the truth some 6 years later off a mutual; aquaintance but by that time we had 2 children and I could never have punished them for her misdeeds. I think this was probably the right choice because our children have both turned out really well balanced with an education, good jobs and long term partners, so for me, the sacrifice was well worth it. Also I do realise that my lovers life style is only stuff, but there's an old saying along the lines of "love flies out the window when the rent man comes knocking on the door", and although I'm sure she would live in a cardboard box with me, I'm not sure I could ask her to do that or cope with the guilt if we hit a really tough patch...............Like I said it's good to get this out but I don't know the answer, or even if there is one. Maybe I just have to wait for the express train which is coming down the track and try to pick up the pieces once it's****?

  • Wow thats a tuff one. always remember the grand life she lives is only material stuff and she is missing something in her life just like you. As you said your wife needs you just as much as you need her. There must be a way where you can recindle your love with your wife and remember the good times you hade through out the years of marriage. If you think your wife does not love you i think you should honestly have an open talk with her. I would stay away from the past and move forward with your wife. She is the one that loves you and has been there for you just like you have been there for her. I'm sure after so many years it is not as exciting as it used to be or the excitment you are feeling now. Please talk with your wife put the effort in to remember the good times and the beutiful life and family you have both created. STAY AWAY FROM THE OTHER WOMEN SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE. GOOD LUCK

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