I might lose the best thing to have ever happened to me.
I am 19, and i have been battling depression since my mom passed away four years ago. 2.5 years ago the best thing to have ever happened to me walked into my life, and at first i wasn't sure about my feelings for him (since with the depression, i only have really depressed or really hyper and wasn't really in tune with my feelings). it took me until about a month ago to realize how much i am in love with him.
but about 6 months into our relationship we had this mutual friend. He liked me a lot and at the time being young and stupid, i started to like him for the things he would tell me and fell for every lie he told. when i first started getting those feelings for our friend i told my boyfriend and talked to him about it. i wasn't going to hide anything from him. i asked him since he was my first boyfriend and i haven't had experience with any other guy to try stuff with the other guy and my boyfriend said "if thats what you want" so i stupidly did.
Every day i wish i could take back what i did but, i can't. and now two years later he tells me that he can't trust me anymore, and doesn't know if he wants to be with me. he says he loves me but he is treating me like I'm a horrible person. he is hardly talking to me, giving me one worded text when i sent him something cute. he isn't acting the same. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him. i will kill me inside if i lose him. he is hurting so much from what i did, and i am hurting so much from just hurting him. i don't know what to do. can someone please help?