I cant do it anymore
I hate everything about myself and pray to god to gain the courage to commit suicide. i cant stand to look in the mirror, everything about me disgusts me.the worst part of it all is, if i consider this h*** and if i ever fallow through with suicide i'll most definatly be damned. im trapped and have no options i just want to stop crying and find a place i can be carefree and happy. i feel so alone in this world, anyone i ever meets puts me down; im so burried i dont think ill ever be happy again its come to the point i dont have the energy to change or impress anyone, it dosnt matter because i cant talk to someone without having a panic attack. i dont have the energy or motivation to keep this up anymore. my whole life nothing has gone right just horribly wrong.i just want out. my fathers abused me and almost any way possible as a child and ny other form of abuse has been done by the rest of my family or complete strangers . my whole life ive been bullied, im overweight and try my best in school im o stupid i cant grasp any information,im so psychologically f***** up i dont want to seek help anymore, medications dont work and im tired of seeing people, i try me best to be a good person know matter what i do i have urges to do wrong. i dont know what wrong with me i just want to sleep and never wake up.