I love my second mom

Well i am an 11 year old and my best friend has her mom. We have this special connection like mom and daughter should have but shes no my mom. Thta what I hate sometimes i start hating on my mom and wishing that she was mine. I remeber when i went over for a whole weekend and we were all talking she was standing eating and i was like 2 feet away and we were talkin (i was in the kitchen) amd we met eyes for a second and (p.s. im not in love with her and she isnt with me) we stared and i gave blushin look and we kept starin till i turned my head. And we have never had that connection since. I feel like someone else ( i know someone else) is taking my place as the familys supposedly third child)is taking my place as the one who makes her laugh. Like she doesnt even have to try to make mom( ill just call her that) laugh. I need to start goin over there more. Have you ever felt like you loved soemone sooooo much and you felt like god dang i CANT EXPRESS MY FEELINGS FOR HER i just her and when were seperate i dont know what to do ahe treats me different now since the other girl took me spot. I am not going to lose the one I love to someone who does not deserve to have her as a second mom. You might like her more now but I am not giving up on you.
P.S. I am not gay......
Wish me luck in my fight!

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