I'm in a relationship, but...

I've been in a relationship for four years, and I love my boyfriend, but I'm finding myself being extremely attracted to a guy I work with. I haven't felt this kind of attraction to anyone in a long, long time, including to my boyfriend, who's admittedly less than a gentleman 80% of the time. Physical attraction to my co-worker is reinforced by our large number of shared interests and ways of thinking. This unexpected crush is flipping my world upside down and making me reconsider what was once a rocky yet solid relationship. I feel incredibly guilty about these unfaithful thoughts, despite the fact that my current boyfriend attempted to cheat on me less than a year ago. I began to think that maybe I should move on from this, but, as if he sensed my detachment, my boyfriend has begun to be extra sweet to me all of the time. But still, when I go to work I can't help fantasizing about shoving that gorgeous, sensible, creative, strong-willed, reading man into a bookshelf and having my way with him. To further complicate things, another co-worker recently informed me during a night at the bar after work that he feels essentially the same way about me. Ever since I found this out, I can't stop thinking about him. Once again, this level of attraction is foreign to me. The sexual tension is intense, to say the least. I simply do not know what to do.

Mar 30, 2013

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  • Dump your boyfriend and see where the relationship leads to, with your work colleague. You only live once! What if your work colleague, is your soul mate?

  • Don't listen to the bible thumper above. Go out and try it out with this guy. You're not married yet so there are no vows to consider. Best case - you end up with the love of your life. Worst case, your bf finds out and breaks up with you. Even worse case - you don't do anything and spend the rest of your life wondering and your bf cheats on you later on (more likely to happen since he has already made plans to do so).

  • Becoming a cheater and a liar is never a good thing. If it's that bad break up with your boyfrined first. Otherwise forget it. How would you feel if you caught your boyfriend in the act with another woman? If it doesn't bother you then you should leave. If it does you had better get over your fanatasies.

  • I never insinuated becoming a liar or a cheater. I just needed to voice somewhere that I have these feelings. This happens eventually in most long-term relationships (to say it doesn't is naive), and it's something I plan to deal with on my own. And, for your information, I didn't catch my boyfriend in the act of cheating, but I caught him in the act of setting up the time and day that weekend to do so. He then lied about it. Persistently. And to answer your question, it felt awful. I have never and will never cheat on anyone. Ever. For any reason. Way to assume though. Lemme guess, Christian? I could tell by your swiftness to judge.

  • You seem,pretty judgemental yourself!

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