I need advice ASAP

I need some advice ASAP. One of my friends told me that she has breast cancer and also a weak heart. She is in her 50s. As she is a nurse, she has seen the result if what people go through to fight cancer. She has decided to do nothing, and let cancer take her. Well, not let it kill her. Just get her toward to the end. She has told me that when things are grim, that she will overdose on pills to end her life.

She has asked me not to tell her family. I am torn. What do I do? I lost my dad to cancer, and this is tearing me up inside that she has confided in me with something so huge, and something that pulls at my heart strings after losing my dad.

Do I keep her wishes, and keep her secret, or do I tell her family who may be able to convince her to fight to live?

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  • Tel her make a will

  • I would not go against her will but I would try to convince her to take other choices if I think they are better. Try to find out why she does'nt want to fight. Is it really so terminal her case o is she giving up? Depending on the answer a would treat the situation very differently.

    Maybe her family would like to know but I think her decision goes first, it is her life and she is the one who is in a more vulnerable position. She can choose who she prefers to die next to and when.

    So the best is that you try to find out what the situation really is and also give her an objective picture of her chances and how her choice might affect her family. It is not about telling her what to do but to open her awareness so she can picture better the situation. She might obviously be very sad and lack perspective. She has the last will but you can help her opening her views.

  • If it was my mum I would want to know so that we could spend what time she has left together .

  • Tough one! She has every right to live her life and end it as she sees fit. It's just so sad that she doesn't want to fight to live. Breast cancer and a weak heart doesn't have to be a death sentence anymore. And as a nurse, she knows that. I can only imagine the many emotions and thoughts that one has to process with any terminal diagnosis. It's scary to even hear the words that it may be cancer. But I feel like she's placed you in a very uncomfortable and unfair position. In someways it feels like a cry for help. That she wants her loved ones to know, but she doesn't want to be the one to tell them. This is a very big secret. I have had loved ones too pass from cancer. It's painful and I can't imagine going about my days knowing what she has planned and keeping a secret like that. For me, I would tell my friend that I love her and want to see her fight because she's worth it. Support is key for anyone, especially now. I would tell. Maybe that makes me a bad friend in her book. I would always feel responsible somehow. I would also wonder if she doesn't tell anyone, are you her assigned caretaker? or are you going to feel that you will always have to be checking in on her? At some point, I have to take care of myself too and so for me, I would tell her that I can't keep the secret and urge her to tell her family. I hope this helps. I think you also just have to trust your instincts and do what's best for you.

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