Ex obsessed?

My ex and i started dating when I was a senior in college and he was a freshman. He seemed older for his age and was close with a lot of my friends who were my age. Despite the long distance factor lying after graduation, we started dating. I was constantly visiting him taking any way I could to see him, but he hardly came to see me. I payed for everything despite being on my own because I thought he had no money being at school. He was my best friend, we did everything together, same interests, got along great. It began to strain and we tried to save it more than we should have. He finally broke up with me when I was going to visit for his birthday a year into being together.

I always caught him talking to his ex and lying until he was caught. He saw her while I was in Australia. She made me so uncomfortable but he continued to do it. I started doubting a lot.

Turns out it was for another chick. He pingponged between us for about 2 months. He got very mean and said really personal and hurtful things to me like "Happy mothers day for the lod you killed" about an abortion i had when i was younger. i forgave it all. We got back together un officially the next summer. Everything was better than ever, until he went back to school and his ex moved home. He dropped me like a hot pan and started social networking about her, to her, took her out for her bday, he never did any of that for me. We fought a lot. I went to visit for a college holiday and we spent the time together. Then we fought again. Then our friends have a reunion (for the frat he's in that all my best friends are in) I have always gone to all of the events before he even came to the college. And he embarrassed me and made a scene about me not going.

I didn't go. That night after I met my friends out for a bday. He showed up knowing I was there, and trolling this girl around me all night. We all left and went back to my friends. He said my ex called and wanted to know if he can come but it was my choice. Trying to maintain some integrity and be an adult I said okay. He brought the girl with him and ended up sleeping with her in front of me and 12 of our friends. Everyone was appalled. His own frat brothers took my side over his.

He must have felt like an idiot because he started harassing me saying I was a w**** and secretly sleeping with kids in his frat (untrue, I had never slept with anyone to this day and we broke up over a year ago) I blocked him on everything and he started tweeting terrible things about me. I ignored it all.

A friend of ours passed a couple months after and he told me how much he loved me and how sorry he was. But when I had to see him for the services he was terrible to me and started fights with mutual friends for basically being my friend. I made a point to talk to him alone before I left and it was all ok. Then I was being harassed by girls he was sleeping with and he came to me saying how terrible I am.

I changed my number because he was harassing me at work and took myself away from my friends for a while. Not a word to each other since and the tweets also stopped on his end. This past weekend I went up for my alumni weekend. We politely ignored each other until an 18 yr old he was sleeping with started throwing drinks one. I didn't react but I told him to make it stop. He said she's a psycho and he ended it with her a week ago and he's in love with me and lets talk. Embarrassed for anyone to see I said if meet him at his place. I left 20 mins after him to walk in on him banging that girl. I cried and went upstairs to be with my friends. He came up hours later and tried to talk, I suggested we go back downstairs away from everyone. We went down and she was still in his bed.

I always pride myself on not being a psycho but I absolutely acted like one. She left and me and him were bad. He left and I fell asleep in the couch until he came and Layed on me. We talked, had s** and were fine. Later we went out and he was trying to go home with the girl who he had s** with in front of me months ago (she was visiting). He embarrassed me and left me for her. He said sleep in my bed idc. So I stayed, the guys walked in on us and he said I tried to rape him (he's 6'3). I stayed and just calmed down. Until he brought her back and was saying I'm a psycho all this stuff. I left and he followed me upstairs with her. The next morning I needed my flat fixed, the girl was still there, she knew what the deal was, but all my stuff from the weekend was in his room. She left, we talked mildly, said goodbye to our reunion and basically we talked it out cause I'm always so willing to fix things.

I know I'm an idiot and I just need another perspective. I don't like getting my friends involved because most of them are his "brothers". We ended up blowing out last night and I said the most terrible thing ever. I was trying the waters and I am so ashamed of myself for going so low. He won't accept my apology.

ADVICE!!

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  • Sounds like everything has just been building for some time and he just got the brunt of it. So you tried to apologize, you can't force someone to accept. Maybe in time he will. But it sounds as though it's time to move on, and let this go. In fact, it's long overdue, he sounds like an a******. It's obvious, you're not dealing with the most mature guy. Frankly, I'm not even sure why you're dealing with him in the first place, or why it's so important for you guys to remain in one another's life. For him to do those things to you, he doesn't care about you and certainly doesn't respect you. Just leave it where it is, you said your peace. As for how you handle your future meet ups your friends and him..pick and choose what you do. Maybe try more one on one or reunions that you plan with out that guy. As time goes on, everyone will get married and move forward in their lives; and the reunions will sadly dwindle. So chances of running into him will hopefully be less.

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