Dropping my Fraternity

Today I dropped my fraternity,

(sorry about the length or the grammar in advance).

Throughout my childhood I never belonged to any type of group, I was always picked on for either being too weird or for my learning disabilities. So I was never “popular” in my middle school. Throughout highschool it was kinda of the same thing, I just kept to myself, never was put into a group such as the “nerds” “geek” “ studs” or “jocks”. And I went to a very small school too so everybody knew everybody.

Then college came, where my social life changed a lot, I met and made a lot of friends, my dorm roommate was a h*** of a person I ever met. Me and him grew up in the same neighborhood and everything and we hung out 24/7 but he ended up transferring to another school. Anyway in the beginning of the semester he encouraged me to go with him to go check out a couple fraternities, and so I did, I didn't really know what they were at that time, but I just went cause I had nothing else to do. We went to tons of hangouts and parties, then I figured out what was greek life. There was this one fraternity that I almost rushed but I only connected with two guys and I didn't really get along with many others, it was a huge house too, with 100+ members.

Throughout the weeks I just partied around and just looked through other fraternities but none of them I really connected too, but then there was this one house that I got invited to and I really didn't go at first but one night I was bored and I texted one of the guys that gave me his number and he said" Yea bro come by, we got a party going on. After that it was all golden, I went and I connected mostly with every single member I met, I kept getting invited back and hangout with them more and more. Then I got a bid.

I was drunk when I got it, but I was so excited, I get to be part of a brotherhood!! And have some many friends, and to actually be part of a group. So I go through the " I-Week" and there after I became a member. All was good, I was doing good in classes, I got a girlfriend, and I got into one of the best houses on greek row.

Then it goes down hill, I've always struggled in school, even though I loved going to classes, I never was really good at studying and grasping things, with my learning disability and all, so college was getting a lot harder, therefore I couldn't be involved in the frat as much as I wanted too. So some people in the Frat would just mess with me and pick on me one why I don't come by as much, which I've told them plenty of times I can't, because I to busy studying and I'm not much of a person to drink excessively, so there be days where I just don't want to get blacked.

As the semesters went on more and more members were bashing me for not coming to hangout or to do anything or do anything for the house. Keep in mind, I wasn't the only person who wasn't around, there are members in the house that don't do anything for the house but drink and gossip. I've helped so many brothers with moving, gave some brothers money, I've done and gone to so many events. There have been times where I needed somebody to help me and nobody ever responded, my car died and I needed a jump, out of the 63 members that read my post in my group chat not one said " hey dude I got you" not one.. In the eyes of the older members in my house I that dont show that "I'm loyal" just because I don't get hammered with them every weekend. Because I'm either studying or working (I work on the weekends) and I'm also in the army reserves so I can't be going out like crazy, and drink like crazy or do drugs.
When I would post something in our group chat I always got a negative feed back, like people would put me down for self gain, to be " funny". I'm a very emotional guy, I don't take things very easy. There also other members that feel the same way that I do, but never speak up because they'd just be shut out by the "popular group of the Frat. The older members would bash those who can't come to things because of personal reasons or school reason but it has became a game "kiss ass". Like the older members just had favorites so those who didn't do s*** for the house would never get yelled at or be treated the way I've been treated. I felt like I was brought back to square one again, back to my early childhood where I was picked on and singled out all the time.

So Today I just had enough. I was just posting something for members to know and all I got was negative comments. The president himself bashed me in front of everybody in the group chat, basically saying " You suck, why are you even here, your truly not loyal to this house". I've been dealing with a lot of stress financially, with my parents getting a divorced, school, my girlfriend, so the last thing I needed was for my brothers to turn against me. When I have told them my struggles and I have shown my face as much as possible and do as much as possible to help the house but they just didn't see that.. So in Conclusion I just texted the president and told him I dropped. Since he talked so negative things to me before now I know he gonna tell members bad things about me when I don't really have a opportunity to defend myself. Now I have to go to around campus and avoid my use too be "brothers".

7 Comments

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  • Work on your grammar a bit, and you might be successful in college. Don't give up hope.

  • It really sucks that this frat and it's members were not supportive of you. Not all Frats and sororities are like that. You are making the right decision for you and that's what matters. Continue to make the effort to make other friends. Stay focused on your studies and it's ok if it takes another year to graduate. Make the most of your experience and network and intern if u can.

  • I think you made the right decision. It's difficult, but it's better to be a lone wolf than to be surrounded by zombie-like sheep. You're thinking about your future. They were dragging you down. You're better off without them.

  • It’s funny that you say “lone wolf” I have a tattoo of a wolf on my right part of my chest. That does represent that “lone wolf”.

  • :) Exactly! You'll find your tribe someday. Don't settle for people who aren't on the same wavelength as you, my dear.

  • You might have been better off had you just stayed in the fraternity. How far along in college are you? COuld you not have just stuck it out?

  • I’m a junior, but I’m going to be college for a longer than other people so like 5 years. I was thinking about just sticking it out becaus all the older members are leaving that would pick on me but the president is that type of person that takes like 6-7 years to graduate and ever since I rushed he never like me. So as long as he’s there and he has that “popularity” and “authority” I have no control of anything. I’ve thought of dropping out way before but I have stuck it out but it just made things worse so..

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