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Scared I will Never Get a White Woman Pregnant
I am in my late 40s.I am so scared that I will grow old and die without having a child with a white woman.
I am in my late 40s.I am so scared that I will grow old and die without having a child with a white woman.
At 32,you are very young and ripe. I can see a few kids with your lover in your future. What makes you be so much in love with your lover, but not as much with your hubby?
The lover knows how to treat me. He knows what I need and how to give it to me. He knows what I want and how to give that to me. He's a man. A real man. All man. My husband is weak and so vastly inferior. The lover is making me into what I believe I was meant to be. He is taking me to my destiny. And it's a destiny that doesn't involve my husband or my children. He is so strong. And so right. You remind me of him and his attitudes.
And in addition I wanted to say that I love the word ripe that you used. Just looking at that word and thinking about it and about my man makes me wet. And I think it's also making me ripe. **. "RIPE". Oh my God.
I thought about being "ripe" all day yesterday and into the night. I didn't get to see my man last night so his absence made me feel even more ripe than I had. I love your words. OMG yes.....I am so ripe for my man. Ripe. That's me through and through. Ripe. I had loved what you said about his ** changing the way my brain functions and changing the way I see the world. I didn't think it could get any better or more accurate or more beautiful than that. But I was wrong. Your word "ripe" is even more incredible. Thank you.
As a MBM, I totally understand that the black ** transforms the brains of white women, as I've seen it happen so many times. I agree that it is so beautiful that you left your white husband to be available to your black lover at all times-he is sure to appreciate your devotion and dedication. The fact that he said he wants you to continue on the pill "for now" tells me that he is close to wanting you to have a baby for him. Here's some advice:
1) Most doctors recommend being off the pill a month or two before trying to conceive. Switch to a diaphragm or other temporary BC that can be quickly removed. You don't want a moment's delay when he asks for that baby!
2) Respect his marriage. Be able to support the babies he gives you without financial help from him. He does have his own family to take care of.
3) Consider going back to your husband to live platonically. It sounds like he might be willing to do that. As long as you are clear that you will be faithful to your black lover, and he won't be getting any. He may even be willing to support the black kids.
4) Most importantly, DO NOT abandon your white children. They are so innocent and young and they need their mommy. You are causing them irreparable harm if you stay away from them. If you won't live with them, at least have shared custody and be a mom to them.
You are so submitted to you lover, its so beautiful!