My last confession
I don't know what else to say other than I'm done, I'm in so much financial debt, I lost my job and don't really feel good anymore. I don't have anyone to talk to, my parents have their own problems, my brother isn't very helpful and my girlfriend wouldn't understand. I wake up everyday wishing I hadn't, I know it's depression but I can't afford to get help and everyone thinks I'm happy and enjoying life, but I'm not, I put on my happy face so no one will ask me questions.
I'm back living with my parents and my girlfriend is pushing me to move out with her which I can't afford and I tell her that, I've used all my savings to pay my bills , she asks me if we can move out before Xmas but there is no way in h***, I did get a new job but they pay monthly so a week before Xmas is when I'll get my first pay. My car failed on me and cost $1000 to fix, she tells me to buy another one $8000, I could just afford the $1000 where does she think $8000 was coming from? She isn't a b**** or anything like that I really do love her, I just don't get what she's thinking sometimes.
I think in the end I just can't be bothered anymore I'm sick of not being happy, I've had enough of faking it to people, so I came on here and at least get it all off my chest. I'm a type 1 diabetic for a long time now and the funny thing is it's not bothered me to have it, it's my one constant in my life, but I'm getting so broke that I can't afford food to even live which sort of sucks. My last confession is I have tried twice in overdosing on insulin and I'll tell you you need a h*** of a lot for anything to happen, I'll try again I know but I'll give credit to the body it's quite resilient.
Don't make the mistake of thinking things will just happen because they don't, you have to make things happen and don't be stupid and delay doing things, do them now and work h****** creating a happy life for yourself and don't let anyone put you down or think you can't do any good, my parents never encouraged me to do anything and I look back on it now I shouldn't have wanted it, I should have encouraged myself and that's what I regret the most, I missed my opportunities.