I'm a clique starter. It's a serious
I'm a clique starter. It's a serious problem, but I've been this way since 7th grade. I like to start cliques, exclude other people, and put other people down. Usually, people just don't care about this if I feel guilty, but that's the thing. I don't. It all started when I was transferred to a new school and I really didn't have any friends. So I started talking to girls who weren't so popular. At 1st my group was innocent, we were just hanging out together and etc. But then later on, one of the members ignored me just once. As in she didn't talk to me for a day. So I told all the other members, talking to her was not permitted or else they'd be out, and anyone who talked to her in class was a loser too. THEY LISTENED TO ME. And I was so surprised that I had more power than the popular people. Ever since then, I get a sick kind of joy out of forming cliques. I've even mastered how to do it. You talk to the semi-popular girls 1st, not the losers (in terms of school) or people who have a low status. You bond with them, get them to tell you their secrets, get them to make fun of people and treat them like Queens. Then, you have a clique. Friends, well not really, more of followers, that will always stay by you because no one else will be friends with them anymore because they know they've dissed them before. However, what I hate is when people make books or movies about cliques and have the girls as whores or being stupid. I don't stand for stupidity nor whoredom in the cliques I rule, because that is not a clique, that is a prostitution ring. Every girl in a clique has to be smart and ready if anyone ever tries anything, like a rumor being spread about her she should know how to get info on the person who started it and ruin their game. Girls in cliques also can not be WHORES. Not only because of STD's, but because of trust. A clique member being a w**** means she has no real loyalty, if she can't be loyal to herself how can she be loyal to the clique? Anyways, this was my confession. Hopefully one day, maybe next schooyear, I can be normal. Because that's all I've really ever wanted, was to be normal and just kinda' blend in with a nice set of friends and not have to always be so defensive or finding comfort in a group kept together by secrets and lies. The fun of being Queen Bee only lasts so long, before you realize how empty your title really is. And your crown is made of nothing but paper and cheap glitter, because no matter how much you like to think everyone in your clique loves you and the whole student body loves you, you are hated. I know for sure that I am among the hated, and I wish I could just take back all the times I made people cry, or said things I didn't really mean. If I called you a loser, it wasn't true. If I ditched you for my clique to thrive, please forgive me. And for my clique members, know that next year we probably won't be friends.---Trying to change.