Maybe baby

Right, well i met this man on a flirt site and we originally started sexting and talking mainly for sexual purposes.
I've only been with guys my own age before but never been in love. I am 17 years old and my man is 35 (ive always liked older guys). I know coming onto a site like this might not show how mature i am but i have been told by almost everyone that i am far more mature than would be expected at my age.
Anyway after talking for a few short weeks we both started getting feelings for one another and a few weeks before we met for the first time we had already found that we are in love.
Each time we see each other it is so passionate and fiery but soft at the same time, its perfect. I do wonder how long this flame will last as we have only been together properly about 2 months. But because each time we meet it is so passionate; we have so much s** that there would never be enough condoms and im on the pill so there we were, having unprotected s**. Ive not had my "ladies week" so far this month, ive never been regular with periods but im worried because there is the worry of having a baby growing inside of me.
My man doesnt know about this but we have spoken about kids and he hadnt wanted them until meeting me and he wouldnt mind if i fell pregnant straight away, he also says that when i live with him that he would soon propose to me. This makes me so happy, i love him with my entire heart and soul (cheesy, but i think we are soulmates.)
Some of you reading this will think he is using me, but without actually being in this situation yourself i dont think you will understand.
So my guy has given me a few gifts for christmas and some money too; with the money im going to get a home pregnancy test. Im going to transfer to my new doctors surgery soon and then go to family planning to get on the pill.
If it turns out that i am pregnant though, im not sure what i will choose to do about it. I would tell him of course, but in the end its my body.
Part of me loves the idea of having his baby but at the same time i am only 17 and not lived properly yet. I dont know if he will have the same thoughts on kids if it turns out that im pregnant and im deeply scared that if it turns out that our feeling were only in our heads (his head).

Hahaha, id be truley screwed if he goes on this site, he doesnt have the internet though so the chance of him seeing this entry is like 1/1,000,000.

If you read to the end of this then thank you. If you leave god awful, abusive comments then f*** you a******, leave your laptop/phone/computer/other and go outside and make some friends you pathetic trolls :D
To the rest of you, again thank you xx

8 Comments

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  • I was right with you, and was on your side, right up until the second-to-last sentence. You're much more immature and self-centered than I had thought. So.......NO ADVICE FOR YOU! COME BACK......TWO YEARS!!!

  • Yea im sorry about that. Reading it back now I realise that I looked like a complete t*** when I wrote that and I know I would have thought the same about anyone else who wrote something similar haha
    I wasn't pregnant btw (thank god because I am really far from ready!)

  • Whew! I know you must be relieved, and I'm really so happy for you. I'm also happy that you explained the context for that last comment (I actually do understand that emotional upheaval can make us do and say things that seem wildly out of the ordinary, even to ourselves), and that now I can be your supporter and fan. I hope you're able to make things work with your guy. I mean that. Please don't allow social conventions and perceived moralities to stand in the way of having the relationship with this man that you want to have. Even if he's not "the one", or if the two of you don't wind up together permanently, it sounds like he cares about you and it sounds like he can satisfy your sexual needs, so you really really really should be with him as much as you can and you should really really really just f*** like bunnies! Good luck!

  • Thank you so much, your really nice! You've really made me smile today :) and I am taking your advice (about the ignoring people and the f****** like bunnies haha), you have actually helped me to be stronger in our relationship and I am so grateful for that xx

  • Just for the sake of where you are in your life right now, lets hope you are not pregnant. Just because having a kid with a guy you barely know may not be the fairytale you're hoping for. And even though you may be mature, you're still 17 and are just starting out in life. You have plenty of time to get married and have babies. Whoever you're with, be sure to live your life, go to college, meet people, travel, get a good job. However, if you are pregnant then you'll cross that bridge when you come to it.

  • Neurological research has shown that the human brain continues to develop right into your early twenties. In other words you are not yet the person you're going to become. Your priorities may change over the next few years so be careful what you commit to. (Marriages can be ended if they don't work out but a child is permanent.)

  • Not necessarily.

  • Huh?? A child is not necessarily permanent? Or marriages can't necessarily be ended?

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