Right, well i met this man on a flirt site and we originally started sexting and talking mainly for sexual purposes.
I've only been with guys my own age before but never been in love. I am 17 years old and my man is 35 (ive always liked older guys). I know coming onto a site like this might not show how mature i am but i have been told by almost everyone that i am far more mature than would be expected at my age.
Anyway after talking for a few short weeks we both started getting feelings for one another and a few weeks before we met for the first time we had already found that we are in love.
Each time we see each other it is so passionate and fiery but soft at the same time, its perfect. I do wonder how long this flame will last as we have only been together properly about 2 months. But because each time we meet it is so passionate; we have so much s** that there would never be enough condoms and im on the pill so there we were, having unprotected s**. Ive not had my "ladies week" so far this month, ive never been regular with periods but im worried because there is the worry of having a baby growing inside of me.
My man doesnt know about this but we have spoken about kids and he hadnt wanted them until meeting me and he wouldnt mind if i fell pregnant straight away, he also says that when i live with him that he would soon propose to me. This makes me so happy, i love him with my entire heart and soul (cheesy, but i think we are soulmates.)
Some of you reading this will think he is using me, but without actually being in this situation yourself i dont think you will understand.
So my guy has given me a few gifts for christmas and some money too; with the money im going to get a home pregnancy test. Im going to transfer to my new doctors surgery soon and then go to family planning to get on the pill.
If it turns out that i am pregnant though, im not sure what i will choose to do about it. I would tell him of course, but in the end its my body.
Part of me loves the idea of having his baby but at the same time i am only 17 and not lived properly yet. I dont know if he will have the same thoughts on kids if it turns out that im pregnant and im deeply scared that if it turns out that our feeling were only in our heads (his head).
Hahaha, id be truley screwed if he goes on this site, he doesnt have the internet though so the chance of him seeing this entry is like 1/1,000,000.
If you read to the end of this then thank you. If you leave god awful, abusive comments then f*** you a******, leave your laptop/phone/computer/other and go outside and make some friends you pathetic trolls :D
To the rest of you, again thank you xx