I'm currently falling deep into the hole of depression. The reason why I feel this way is because of my stepdad. He has tortured and put me down verbally for about 9 years of my life, and I can't seem to take it anymore. Every little small thing he does adds up and piles on top of one another, and adds to the weight of my sadness. He says snarky things (he probably is glad he'll get a rise out of me)and is a complete idiot when it comes to other people's feelings. Over the past few years, I have been able to stand up for myself and I tell him outright what he says is wrong and childish. Also, I equate him with being a God, because sometimes he really acts like one, barely admitting his faults. He's also extremely hypocritical, talking down on things me, my mom and brother do when he clearly does it himself. Sometimes he just sounds like such a f****** idiot I drown him out in my mind. I wonder if it's even worth it anymore to call him on stuff, because it doesnt seem to do much good. I mean yes, we have our good times and all, but we definitely have too many disagreements. I really wish I could run away, I've thought about it so many times, or to just end my life by stabbing myself. The pain I would fell in the knife seems more enjoyable then the pain I endure every day. Of course this ***hole feels "I'm overreacting". Well that makes sense, maybe because he's the sick and twisted one causing the pain. It may only be verbal abuse, and he seems to have gotten a little better over the years, but I still feel that he's a controlling Hitler ***hole that is gonna get what he deserves.