I am your mother

I nearly failed you giving birth because I didn't know how to push. The first night we brought you home I had to have your father come take you from me because the tears falling from my face were disturbing you in your sleep. You rejected my b****** and I was secretly happy because I didn't want to be tethered to you like a calf to a cow. I gave up my career in a corporate office bringing home more money than any 23 year old should for a job as a morning working, stocking light bulbs at 4am just to be home at 9 before your father goes to work. I have lost my body. My social life. My mental health. I cry when I take my medicine in the morning, just for the fifteen minutes before it kicks in and numbs me. But I love you. And I chose to have you. And you are the most precious thing I have ever done in my short life. And all this came about because a boy decided to rape me.

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3 Comments

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  • I'm sorry that you made this choice when clearly it wasn't the best choice for you. Kids aren't for everyone. I'm sorry for what happened to you, and I hope you really made the decision yourself and you weren't pressured out of an abortion. This is the life that I make sure so fervently to escape every time I choose to copulate.

  • Even without the atrocity of how your child was created, I hope you can see the strengths you exhibit in your words. You have sacrificed aspects of yourself, like a mother does. You chose to not only have your child, but love your child and that is heartbreakingly admirable given your circumstance.
    Breastfeeding a child does not make a mother, love does.

    I hope you can find some time to do things for yourself as you parent your child. It is important that in all of this, you find a way to take time to exist for you once in a while.

    Best wishes.

  • This is depressing

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