My Daughter

My daughter is 15 years old and I am a stay at home mom , when my daughter was young we were close but when she reached 13 years old she has become a real b**** . Moody , never smiles , stays in her room on the computer , she has no real friends only on on the computer who lives far away , never wants to do anything with me unless she wants something . she's not social , has her head down , I am so hurt that my daughter doesn't love me , there are so many kids who would love to have a mom like me who wants to spend time with them like cook , go bike ridding or hiking trips , concerts whatever but I get stuck with a moody , uncaring daughter .
I am angry sad depressed lonely frustrated

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  • Look,as annoying as it may seam it's a normal stage for teenagers. She does love you she's just probably feeling like you don't understand her and thinks it's embarrassing to have her mom around mainly with friends. Here's a trick. Show her how it would be like to have no mom I am not telling you to leave her home alone and go party but just act like you're neglecting her even when she asks you for something try not to talk to her as much but still keep an eye on her to make sure that nothing goes wrong. It always worked with me when my mom did it. Good luck.

  • I have backed off and haven't ask her to go for walks with me or watch a movie with me on line and it dose hurt but I am giving her the space she ask and she is happier now and less bitchy and we are not fighting .

    I told her in the past how grateful she should be that her father makes enough income for me to be a stay at home mom and that allot of mom's have to work but she just rolls her eyes . ( that made me even more angry )

    It's sad but people have to experience loss in order to be grateful for what they have .
    The old saying you don't know what you have until it's gone
    I told her when I die your going to wish you took the time to be with me , your tv shows will be around forever but I won't .

    Once she goes back to school in a few weeks I am going to see about getting into childcare I really miss the baby's and the young kids , I have so much to give and I'm not using it .

    I do hope she finds a friend this year , or joins something after school and not just come home and run to her computer and play on it .

  • Sounds like a pretty normal teenager to me. Are you foreign?

  • I am from the U.S.A

  • when she starts getting laid she'll be in a better mood

  • That wont be for a long time she is not into dating , she is into the whole Anime . Which I don't get but whatever she enjoys it .

  • Don't kid yourself mom: she's already on the d***.

  • Not everyone is obsessed with s**

  • Of course that's true, but she's fifteen, and she's f******. Period.

  • Wrong again ,she doesn't go out she has no friends other then a on line friend !
    I stay at home so I know everything and I talked to her about the birds and the bee's and she says , she is not wanting to date at this time , she just wants to learn how to drive, so she can get a job .

  • Same thing with my son. I am the father and when he was 17 1/2 he suddenly went ferrel. I had been giving him driving lessons to school each day and going and watching him play soccer and music performances and so on. Suddenly he starts being critical of me. One example I talking to him while eating an apple and he suddenly tells me its rude to talk and eat at the same time. There were a few of these incidents and I basically had to back away. I still feel like I am walking on thin ice with the relationship.

  • The funny thing is I always thought I was a cooler mom then my mom so I was in shock that my daughter doesn't like hanging out with me .

    It's been a few weeks that I posted this ,and things are better then before now that I have stopped being so needy .

  • What about her dad? Just curious, but what is her relationship like with him? Any chance she might be invloved with drugs? Some of what you describe is normal adolescent behavior, but you might want to delve into it a little further.

  • My daughter's relationship with her dad is very good they both seem to get it as to when to give each other space and when to spend time together .
    It's all about balance I guess . But it's like you said I need to find something to do and not be smothering my daughter .
    I am very lucky that my daughter dose not have any desire to do drugs , drinking , dating , when I use to smoke she would be so mad at me and I quit smoking .

    I ask her today if she was happy that I stopped asking her to spend time with me and she said yes so I guess it's good I stopped even tho it huts I will respect her space.

  • Good luck with her ... and stop beating yourself up about it. Just be there for her when she needs you and understand that as she matures and grows up, it's natural for her to also want to grow away. Your roles are changing. By the way, I'm a stepfather to three girls and a grandfather to three, also. That doesn't make me an expert, but I think it gives me some perspective. Again, good luck to you. It sounds like you're a wonderful and caring mom.

  • Thank You

  • Awww..Don't stop entirely. It is just about balance. You're mom, you need to know what she's up to and at the same time letting her know you're game to hang out whenever. She'll always need you, don't think she doesn't. Just give her little reminders that you're there and would love the chance to do stuff. Maybe you can just put it out there and just tell her that you really enjoy spending time with her, but you understand she needs her space. So every now and then ask if she wants to get some ice cream, see a movie, get a mani/pedi, go shopping or even just to talk. Eventually, she'll take you up on something. Plus if she's getting her driver's license, she'll have to drive..hmmm. You guys will be close again.

  • Oh come on.. don't you remember when you turned 13? That's the age when parents are no longer cool to hang out with. She's a teenager, pretty much what she's supposed to do. She's finding her independence..sort of strange it's in her room and alone. Maybe monitor that because she could be dealing with depression. But still. It's interesting how you turn it around to make it about you, that she doesn't love you? Really? I hope you don't actually say that to her. Maybe you need to find your own group of friends and interests. Maybe get a job. Your daughter knows you're there for her. Don't stop offering to do things with her, but give her her space, she'll come around.

  • Thank you for your input ...
    I do tell myself when I was a teen I didn't want to hang out with my mom and the moody thing as well , but it's just really hard to let go of what she was when she was younger .
    She is going to be 16 in a few days and I am happy but sad cause the next thing is driving school and I am really scared and hope she will do ok with that .
    I check on her computer and the person she talk to is another girl who is 14 and they Skype so I know it is a real girl .

    Your right I need to find something to do , it's just that it's summer and so yeah I need to let go .

    Thank u

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