I hate myself for loving her.

I've dated this girl for three years, it ended not to long ago for me. But for her, it ended months,possibly a year before she told me we should break up. She said she fell out of love with, the things she thought she loved about me where things she hated. After that,I couldn't feel love. I tried to find someone, but each time I'd think of her and my mind would go crazy. We are still friends today, but we fight so much more over petty things. Its so tiring crying every night. I feel not good enough for anyone. I was so lucky to get her and now she is gone. Problem is, I still love the f*** out of her, so much. I tell her that and she tells me "she doesn't know what she wants." now, I've found someone I like but I'm cheating on my ex. So, I feel I'm still with her and can't stand to feel the same feelings for someone else.

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  • When people break up it's never good because unless you both agree then one always gets hurt .
    I think you should not be dating at all right now because if you are still hurt from the break up then your not really for a new g/f .
    You need to heal your heart . What your doing is getting involved with another person that is going to get hurt from you because your not 100% into it and that can't work .
    At lest she was honest and told you and not go behind your back and cheat on another guy just so she would not hurt your feelings so remember that .
    So take time alone and heal you will know when your ready to date again but clearly your not ready now and this new person is going to be getting hurt so let her go .
    Time will heal a broken heart

  • ^ Agreed. You don't get over someone by dating someone else. Definitely give yourself some time to get over her. And there's no time limit..it could be more than a month, 3 months or even years to truly get over someone. The best way is to stay busy. And also by not jumping into another relationship, it helps you to gain independence and learn to focus on yourself. To really figure out what you need from another person. And it's just important for your overall emotional and mental health. Learn to create healthy boundaries so that you don't fall into co-dependent toxic relationship patterns in the future. Dating people after people without a break doesn't give any new relationship a true fair shake. And it's really unfair to be to anyone new your dating. P.S. You can't cheat on an ex. No such thing. As for your ex. You need to step forward with what you want and don't allow her to play with your heart or be in control of what happens with your life. Enough of that bullshit. She could have you in a holding pattern for years if you allow it. And you could be where you are right now if you don't say something. It may help you to stop hanging out with her. It sounds so unhealthy and you don't sound like you're really happy either. Or if you are unable to stop hanging out with her then you both need to come up with more positive ways to communicate and stop the pettiness.

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