You love your wife. You said all those things about her, how unhappy you were...and you didn't mean a word you said. I am a cliche. And so are you. I thought I was a pretty smart person. Intuitive, even. But I'm really not. I fell for it. For you. I convinced myself that I loved you. And you loved me. But that's not what this was at all. I'm so f****** delusional. You never, ever put me before her unless you got something out of it, too. And you even told me who you really were. Maybe not in the beginning, but you eventually said the words. You are f***** up on the inside. You are not worth it. You said those words. And I didn't want to hear it. I had already taken it this far. Why not a little further? And you showed me who you were. Over and over again. Selfish. Impulsive. No self-control. And I saw that. But I told myself that's not who you really were. You were only like that because you were so unhappy with her. But with me, you were a better person. You were happy. I could fix you. F*** MY LIFE. I can't even fix myself. How the f*** could I possibly want to take on your bullshit, too.
Maybe tonight is a night of self realizations?
You and I do not have a strong enough relationship for me to be able to say this to you. I know that I couldn't take what truths you have to say to me, either. So, this is going to sit here. On my phone. In my notes. But more importantly, it's on my mind. And in my heart.