You love your wife. You said all those things about her, how unhappy you were...and you didn't mean a word you said. I am a cliche. And so are you. I thought I was a pretty smart person. Intuitive, even. But I'm really not. I fell for it. For you. I convinced myself that I loved you. And you loved me. But that's not what this was at all. I'm so f****** delusional. You never, ever put me before her unless you got something out of it, too. And you even told me who you really were. Maybe not in the beginning, but you eventually said the words. You are f***** up on the inside. You are not worth it. You said those words. And I didn't want to hear it. I had already taken it this far. Why not a little further? And you showed me who you were. Over and over again. Selfish. Impulsive. No self-control. And I saw that. But I told myself that's not who you really were. You were only like that because you were so unhappy with her. But with me, you were a better person. You were happy. I could fix you. F*** MY LIFE. I can't even fix myself. How the f*** could I possibly want to take on your bullshit, too.
Maybe tonight is a night of self realizations?
You and I do not have a strong enough relationship for me to be able to say this to you. I know that I couldn't take what truths you have to say to me, either. So, this is going to sit here. On my phone. In my notes. But more importantly, it's on my mind. And in my heart.

Aug 17, 2014

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  • Narcissists are really good at this kind of thing, especially early on when emotions are high and rationality is low. That's how they hook you, by playing up the charm and making broad-sweeping declarations of "love". (They don't "love" you, they just know that word is hot-wired to your brain... and hopefully, through that, to your junk)

    If they make lots of noise about "love" but their actions do not bear out... especially if they're quick to blame you or cry victim when things don't go the way THEY want (and eventually that WILL happen)... congratulations, you've been played by a narcissist.

    Once you've woken up to that, take out the trash. It'll hurt some, because they're very good at manipulation, but you will take a load off your shoulders that should never have been there to begin with.

    Let them go sadly strum their guitar and whine to the world about being a star-crossed lover, or whatever it is they do when their plans fail. It is the wailing of a toddler who didn't get the shiny toy of the moment. Let 'em cry it out... alone.

  • Believe it or not, you're not much different from the type who's all "tee hee, me take me boyfriend from his wife cos me hot and smart and stuff lol". You thought your heart was enough, they think their stretched-out trout-stinking gashes are. At least YOU finally woke up!

  • I wish I could give you a hug. I just went through the same thing. The sooner you move on the better. He'll never change sweetie.. :/ they also have impeccable timing. As if they have a radar on when you're finally forgetting, they decide to pop back in your life again. That is when you need the strength to ignore.

  • Listen I've been where you are....and trust me, he is a he saying he doesn't love her....or he doesn't know what love is. Yes it took me awhile also to WAKE UP!! but when you do and you leave the will be able to breath once again. He is using you for s**, a friend, what ever he needs and he will tell you exactly what you want to hear.
    But I bet as he's telling you how unhappy he is with her...he is telling her she is the only one and how much he loves her. Try to get away and it won't be easy....but GO!!!! As fast as you can. Trust me, he's right, he's not worth it!!!! He will only keep you hanging on as long as you keep hanging on.

  • Wow this hits so close to where i've been in my life, it feels like it could have been meant for me. i hope you find peace.

  • Don't beat yourself up over this. You loved him. Maybe you still do. That's not a bad thing. Do you need to move on and find another man? Maybe, but only you can make that call. Just remember, there are plenty of men who want to be with a woman who feels as deeply and as strongly as you do. If this one can't return that, or WON'T return it, find one who can and will.

  • He is a player and he is playing you why are woman so stupid to think he will leave her for you ? If he is unhappy and dose not love her then he should of left her no excuse .
    Honey wake THE F*** UP and start putting you first and not 3rd on his list !

    Love dose not HURT

  • YUP!

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