I've cut all of my friends out of my life. It started accidentally (if I can even call it an accident, which I realize I shouldn't) with a few friends I didn't really talk to any way. Then I started realizing that people I thought were my friends were just come-and-go acquaintances and the people that were really my friends aren't really the best influences. There is a group of people who act nice to me and I've known them most of my life, but I'm likely a bother since I don't share much of the same interests as them and it's quite apparent that I'm like a "third wheel". There's one person who I still rely on and see as a friend, but I'm afraid he'll abandon me. This all takes me to my present situation of having nearly no friends and being terrified to make new ones due to my anxiety. My anxiety causes me to be too afraid to even try to tone down my existing anxiety; I fear that everything will change and it'll be worse instead of better. Of course, throughout all of this suicide has been a thought; something I could never actually do, but still a looming thought of "what if," and "Who would care if I actually carried through with such an idea?" I see a therapist; however, this is information that I wouldn't dare share with her or anyone else any time soon. Besides, typing this in an anonymous little note in a mere tiny corner of the internet is much easier than speaking to someone in person. Nonetheless, if you happened to come across this passage and managed to read it all the way to this point, it'd be great to know that someone actually read this whether you cared or not. Most likely I'm younger than I may have lead you to believe or maybe you caught on, but it doesn't change anything I happened to type tonight. Hoping for something better feels almost useless, no, I feel useless as if I'm nothing. Perhaps I'm depressed. For now I believe that's all there is to say, I doubt I'll follow up on this and if I do the chance that I'd connect it to this article is slim. Thank you if you read this entirely, it means more than you think it does; forgive me if it was a waste of time in any way, shape, and/or form.