Just ran into my buddies old girlfriend

My friend had a gorgous blonde girlfriend many years ago. As the years passed we became close. She confided some wild and abusive s** acts on my buddie started forcing on her. She didn't like it,she feels raped over and over by him, he was doing some mean and painful s** acts on her and decided to leave him. She wanted to move back to her mom's house which was really far away. She told me she loved me and that we should try to stay in touch. I agreed and told her I'd miss her. Her next sentence blew me away "so when are we getting laid"?? Those words I will never forget. We made an arraingment to meet at my place, I lived alone. We had a great time but I knew she hadn't officially broken her relationship off and I wasn't going to be able to keep her for myself after she did. She had her agenda made up. We just had our thing. It was a 1 time thing,I was grateful just the same. She moved and stayed in touch for a while. I found a nice girlfriend, I later married her and lost touch with my favorite girl. It's now 10 years later and I meet her on the street we walked a thousand times together in our past. We're both married with kids, she lives a town away now. She still looks great. We've met now for lunch for over a year at least once a month, I haven't told my wife about her. I found she hasn't told her husband about all our lunch dates, just the first one. I lusted for this girl. I told her I want to love her again someday. She smiled and said let it go. I said I can't, your the only woman I want to love at least 1 more time. She said no, about the 4th time I asked her again she got mad at me. I laid off. Now she kidds me about wanting her s** and I feel like a pig. Guess I should too.I said well I tried, your the only lover I'd take a chance with or ever wanted a re do with and I had to take that chance. Then I told her I would stop asking her for s**. She said no don't stop asking me. I said ok, so I'll hit on her on occaision. Maybe she needs the attention or maybe she's considering it. I don't know but I'll take her anytime she decide to play. I'm taking a risk now just seeing her without my wife knowing. I love my wife, I hate thinking about destroying her over this. I don't think my wife would like her if I introduced them. But I don't want them to know each other. I'm halfway to h*** yet praying to play with her again.

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