My cousin's father

I have been trying g to keep this a secret but I just can't

My auntie met a guy at 20 and she thought he was the one so they moved to New Zealand together not married or engaged.3 years later she came back to adelaide and told my mum about how she got pregnant and that the guy started gambling badly and left her and my cousin. So as much as my cousin is annoying I try to give him as much love as I can even if he doesn't know about his father.

I also confess my cousin (20) has gotten a girlfriend recently and I've been getting jealous of her... is it normal bc um I've started to like him even more in a kinda different way I mean he's so hot and tall I know it's wrong but he's also so nice and kind to me and we also made out when we were 15 and 17 as a dare and it felt good we also sleep in the same bed sometimes and he subtly flirts with me as a joke but still I just can't stay away from him and every time his girlfriend and him show pda I just wanna b****slap her...

Oh god I'm messed up..

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