The void that wants to be filled

I feel sort of empty. But I don't think it's depression. I don't think it's being insecure having no confidence because I remember what it felt like to be that way, and I can honestly say I've come a long way.. But I keep doing this terrible thing. Where I flirt with guys, maybe I'll even think they have a chance, and then move on. Sometimes I'll tell them I lost interest, but mainly I just stop talking to them and let it take its course. Even worse, I keep talking to men that clearly only see Me as a s** object, I guess it's because I like the attention, but the twisted thing is I just end up feeling s hi t ti e r afterwards. It's like I'm looking for a love I'll never find, because the people who were supposed to love me I.e. my family never did. So what is love? What am I looking for that's left me so messed up I'm messing with others? How do I end this? Maybe it's because it's the only thing right now I have control over in my life right now.. I just don't know. I'm sorry. Nothing justifies purposely toying with others emotions.

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  • Wtf I was reading this and relating to everything you had to say and then I read the comments. Why are people so rude? You can feel however the f*** you want to feel!! This is a real and horrible f****** feeling. Don't listen to anything these a******* have to say.

  • I have a suggestion for you.. do the world a favor and blow you freakin' brains out! How's that? please do it cause so far this is the dumbest thing I have ever read on here! Annie

  • OK so here is my guy perspective.
    I am visual. In a way every woman is a s** object to the extent that they attract my attention. Does not mean that I am going to end up having s** with them. Don't feel bad about flirting or looking good. Certainly don't feel bad because you don't let the guy have s** with you. As a generalisation once the guy has had s** with you he will move on anyway. Don't equate s** with love. They say men give love to get s** and women give s** to get love but that only works when there is more to hold the two together than just s**.

    It sounds to me like you need to love yourself. whether or not a guy sees you as a s** object does not matter. Don't dress boring to try to put them off. Dress in a way that makes you feel light, alive, beautiful even sexy.

    Don't feel bad about leading the guy on. Tease tease tease. Flirt. Go on. enjoy.

  • No one will love you until you love and accept yourself first. There are clearly many things you crave-attention, acknowledgment, etc. that you need to fill before you can truly look for love. I know what it's like believe me. My only difference is I've built a thick wall around myself and never let anyone in. now I'm suffocating behind it.

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