I'm going to cheat on my husband

I love my husband, I really do. We've been together for over 13 years and I've never, not once, done anything unfaithful. He had an emotional affair once, but that was a long time ago. We are best friends and I couldn't imagine life without him, but I'm still unhappy.

When I said we were friends, I meant it. It's really almost more of a friends with (very occasional) benefits situation. We have s** about once every 6 weeks or so, and that is literally the ONLY time I get affection from him. He will kiss me... on the cheek or the top of my head. The way you might kiss a child or your grandma. I crave affection, to be held, kissed with passion, touched.

I met a man recently who is in the exact same situation with his wife. We live a few hours apart, but plan to meet halfway early 2015. We aren't planning s**, exactly, more like "let's get together and see what happens." But I know it's going that way. We sext and have sent naughty pictures. Neither of us want to leave our marriages, but just want affection.

Before you ask or lecture me, yes, I have talked to my husband about it. Several times! Things will improve for a few days then go back the way they were. And he would never agree to therapy. We are only in our 30s, if this this way now, how will it be in 20 years?!? He once said "it all goes to friendship" and that's not at all what I want. It made me so sad.

It also makes me feel very unattractive and down on myself. Hubby has just given up on having anything beyond friendship and he's happy with it. No compliments, no affection, no spark. This new guy, it's like the beginning of a relationship again and it feels so nice.

I never thought I'd do this in a million years, I had always judged people who cheated. But I'm at my breaking point.

Dec 3, 2014

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  • Thank you! I needed to read this!

  • Ya know, you women are full of it! Simply full of it! My first marriage lasted 23 years and within that time her s** drive went from 60 to 0 after the first 2 years, and now the woman I am with her s** drive lasted a couple of years too, so I don't know what the f**k you're talking about other than the fact you must have been a prostitute before you married your man! Women are typically s** feens the first couple of years and then after, it's the husband's fault.. the problem is you ladies think that thing between your legs is a piece of Gold, but you need to give it up to your husbands at least if you want a happy s** filled marriage! Stop using your man for an excuse between yourselves to justify your cheating. PS, we are men and we want s** whenever we can get it, so c*** up b****** and start putting out you'll be a lot happier!

  • Because men like you stop considering the woman and giving her the attention and the emotional intimacy she needs and yet you continue to expect the same level of sexual intimacy. You’re the problem dude, you and every other man who fails to connect that you have to keep the level of intimacy and emotional connection at the same level. Look at how you speak of women! You sound like a guy that really loves and respects women deeply. NOT.

  • You're speaking from your own experiences.Your assumptions and implications,are a result of those experiences.
    So don't assume,everyone's situation inregards to your comment,is always accurate and valid.
    Don't make ignorant assumptions,based on your own experiences.Everyone's situations and experiences are different.And each woman and man on earth,are different aswell :)

  • I kissed another playgroup mom and now we are having a affair for want of a better word. Neither of us want to break up with our husbands. Its exciting, disgusting, wrong. When the kids are playing in the lounge we are in the kitchen all over each other. Its so physical. Its slow and its fast. I sway between really deep feelings of guilt and thinking that it is just filling a void in my life and keeping me married which is the best for my baby.

  • Why is it disgusting?

  • I know exactly how you feel. I have been in a s**-starved marriage with my husband for 16 years. For the last 4 years I have been having an affair with a wonderful man who also isn't getting enough from his wife. We see each other once a week, and it appears that neither his wife or my hubby have a clue. It's a great set up, and I feel so much better now that I'm getting some on a regular basis. I know you will too. Happy f******.

  • Please,tell us about your lover and how u met,etc

  • He's my cubicle neighbor at the insurance company we work at. He'd been working there for just over a year when we started our affair. We'd talk during cigarette breaks, and gradually found out we both were in s**-starved relationships. We were both attracted to each other, and one day while smoking outside, he simply bent over and kissed me on the mouth, which led to french kissing for a few minutes. He then said if I knew the motel right off of the highway, and I immediately said lets plan for going there lunch tomorrow, and he said we'll take his car. It's been a weekly thing ever since. I did finally get my hair cut short because it was a pain to get it to look right in time to get back to work after lunch.

  • Very romantic and just right. I am happy for you both. Just don't get pregnant and blow your cover!

  • As a guy,I feel your plight and understand it well.I have had women like your husband-no affection and avoiding intimacy. But I am a guy that has slept with countless women in your situation for many years.There are millions of couples in a predicament like yours.The woman always thinks she is meeting with me or flirting with me for fun and before she knows it,I am either riding her or eating between her legs for a long time-though discreetly. I know for sure you will be naked with this guy the day you meet with him or shortly thereafter.I know your mind is made up and considering the distance,you are both going to try and make it worth your while in some motel room. A girl has to do what a girl has to do, and I know what you gonna do.Enjoy.

  • For what it's worth, I think ^this^ comment is really right. Many years ago, I became involved with a single man who only dated married women like me. Men like that (and the one above) really understand women in general, and married women in particular. They know what we need and they really give it to us. And I mean they REALLY give it to us. I'm happy you've taken this step with this man and this time and I know you'll be happy too.

  • My wife is so dam busy she does not have time for s**. The more I try to help her out the more commitments she takes on. So in a way I know how you feel. I love my wife deeply and I do not want to break with her but I would love some sexual even non penetrative intimacy - kissing and so on.

  • And you deserve it. It sounds like you are right there beside her. Try finding out what is her biggest emotional need... it might just be sitting and talking with her and listening to her for an hour or so and you thinking that helping her with the commitments is sending that message.. so ask her what would make her feel most desired.... and then do that and telling her that you desire her. You sound like a good man.

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