I'm going to cheat on my husband
I love my husband, I really do. We've been together for over 13 years and I've never, not once, done anything unfaithful. He had an emotional affair once, but that was a long time ago. We are best friends and I couldn't imagine life without him, but I'm still unhappy.
When I said we were friends, I meant it. It's really almost more of a friends with (very occasional) benefits situation. We have s** about once every 6 weeks or so, and that is literally the ONLY time I get affection from him. He will kiss me... on the cheek or the top of my head. The way you might kiss a child or your grandma. I crave affection, to be held, kissed with passion, touched.
I met a man recently who is in the exact same situation with his wife. We live a few hours apart, but plan to meet halfway early 2015. We aren't planning s**, exactly, more like "let's get together and see what happens." But I know it's going that way. We sext and have sent naughty pictures. Neither of us want to leave our marriages, but just want affection.
Before you ask or lecture me, yes, I have talked to my husband about it. Several times! Things will improve for a few days then go back the way they were. And he would never agree to therapy. We are only in our 30s, if this this way now, how will it be in 20 years?!? He once said "it all goes to friendship" and that's not at all what I want. It made me so sad.
It also makes me feel very unattractive and down on myself. Hubby has just given up on having anything beyond friendship and he's happy with it. No compliments, no affection, no spark. This new guy, it's like the beginning of a relationship again and it feels so nice.
I never thought I'd do this in a million years, I had always judged people who cheated. But I'm at my breaking point.