I'm really just a child inside

I'm a grown man and outwardly confident, level headed and sociable. But I went through a lot of traumatic things when I was a kid that no one really knows about and they still haunt me to this day. People always come to me for advice and say I'm the voice of reason. But I really feel like a scared little child trapped in a man's body. I have no idea what I'm doing in life and feel completely isolated, alienated and alone. I'm not like other people. I am actually very shy, timid and feel completely helpless but somehow manage to cover it up. I don't have even a quarter of the social and other type of experiences people my age have had. I even have come across as arrogant, conceited and nasty but I'm really just soft and deeply sensitive inside. What I really wish I had was someone to hold me and hug me and let me cry into their shoulder. Sometime to rub my head as I cry and tell me everything will be alright. someone to help me spill my guts out and not judge me. Someone who I could really be myself around. Someone like a big brother or big sister or mother or father figure although I am well past the age when one should need this. I am so lost and empty inside. I am afraid of what the rest of my life will be like. I don't want to be alone forever but I am terrified to get close to people. If anyone knew all the things wrong with me and all my deep dark secrets they would see how pathetic and worthless I truly am. I wish someone could find me, help me and save me.

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  • If trouble with fear of love and not doing anything about it it will consume you let the past go move forward and let that someone in who has been there the whole time she talks to you and shares her secrets to you let her save you stop pushing her away and making excuses! I know a man who is just like you and ignore me when I try to help him he won't let me help not saying I want to be his mate just a friend I have a good heart and will listen but not to be shut out of his life totally really can't help him

  • Someone could be there for you if you opened up to them. but there will be people who you open up to and don't care but not everybody is that way.

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