I'm totally alone
I can barely put into words how alone and cut off from the wrold I feel. There is this bottomless pit inside me. Nothing I do can fill it. I make no difference in the world. I don't really matter to anyone. I dream about having someone special, someone close. Even if not a lover than a close friend. Someone who I could spill my guys out to. I am surrounded by stupidity and banality. What's the purpose of life? What am I here for? What is it like to be cared about? Loved? It's not fair. I am a good person. I try to do the right thing and not hurt anyone. In the end I'm always alone. I just wish I had someone to hug and hold. Someone who really knew me. Someone who loved me. Is love real? What does it really feel like? I want to really feel love. To be in love. To be loved back. I know I'm capable of it. For whatever reason God made it so that I can't be loved. Sometimes it feels like I'm just meant to be alone. I can't go through life like this. Even just someone to have an intelligent conversation with. Why are people so materialistic? Why can't people understand what really matters in life? Why am I so alone? The walls I've built around me are there for a reason. But if the right person comes alone I'll open the gates. I'm just so tired of being alone. I secretly desire someone to come along and rescue me. Someone to take care of me better than I take care of myself. I wish I could take care of myself. Life isn't fair. I don't ask for riches or material things. I just want to be loved.