I'm totally alone

I can barely put into words how alone and cut off from the wrold I feel. There is this bottomless pit inside me. Nothing I do can fill it. I make no difference in the world. I don't really matter to anyone. I dream about having someone special, someone close. Even if not a lover than a close friend. Someone who I could spill my guys out to. I am surrounded by stupidity and banality. What's the purpose of life? What am I here for? What is it like to be cared about? Loved? It's not fair. I am a good person. I try to do the right thing and not hurt anyone. In the end I'm always alone. I just wish I had someone to hug and hold. Someone who really knew me. Someone who loved me. Is love real? What does it really feel like? I want to really feel love. To be in love. To be loved back. I know I'm capable of it. For whatever reason God made it so that I can't be loved. Sometimes it feels like I'm just meant to be alone. I can't go through life like this. Even just someone to have an intelligent conversation with. Why are people so materialistic? Why can't people understand what really matters in life? Why am I so alone? The walls I've built around me are there for a reason. But if the right person comes alone I'll open the gates. I'm just so tired of being alone. I secretly desire someone to come along and rescue me. Someone to take care of me better than I take care of myself. I wish I could take care of myself. Life isn't fair. I don't ask for riches or material things. I just want to be loved.

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6 Comments

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  • OMG that is exactly how I feel. I've thought those exact words more times
    than I can count. I've felt like I was going to be alone since I was young boy, I don't know why I would feel that way so young unless I was meant to be alone. The hardest part is not Having anyone special. At this point I would be happy to have anyone who will listen to me and who cares. I don't go out or do much of anything, it's just too hard to see everyone else with someone. Everyone I have been friends with has betrayed me, or gotten married and I'm not wanted in there new life. I wish I could think of even one reason to get out of bed in the morning. I used to have hope as a reason, but I have none left.

  • As you can see you're not alone. I feel the same way, even worse now years after writing this confession. If you need someone to talk to, email me- invisiblealien05 AT yahoo DOT com

  • Anonymous: I feel just as you do..all of my family are dead, and I am totally
    disabled. I haven't washed my hair in two years.. because its too painful.
    Today my doctor cut off my medications.for no reason that he would share with me.. and all I have is god.. but I cannot hug god. or hold him ..
    I feel cold and alone and though im alive.. I think I know what death is about.
    and wish I could be die quietly - without the shame of knowing that god is watching me.. what do I do know.. ?? Any response is welcomed..
    Mr Dale Havard, world class mathematician.. with a not so beautiful mind..lol

  • Jesus is the best friend you could have. He loves you so much that He laid down his life to save you. Everyone is a sinner, but Jesus died on the cross to pay the price for that sin so you could go to Heaven one day. If you confess you are a sinner, and accept Jesus as your Saviour then God will become your Father and Jesus will be a friend that sticketh closer than a brother, and you can pray to him and tell him everything and he will comfort you, but first you must accept Him as your Saviour. Get you a Bible and read the book of John.
    For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth on him should not perish but have everlasting life.

  • You need to stop spewing the Jesus stuff all over the boards here. It's clear all the Jesus posts are from you. Religion is a form of comfort that brings peace to some, not all. Some people need a little more than what religion brings.

  • I think everybody feels this way at one time or another, sometimes for short periods and sometimes for what seems like an eternity. You mentioned God so I know you believe. We were not made to be alone so there is a reason for being alone right now. Have you asked God to show you the answer? Maybe He is protecting you from relationships that could be harmful to you and in His time the right relationships will develop. Healthy, loving, and real relationships. Try to focus on you right now and pray.

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