i hate my life im19 going on 20 i wake

i hate my life im19 going on 20 i wake up everyday wishing i was dead i cant stand to see myself in pictures or in the mirror, i hate the way i look im fat and sloppy and have not many friends im shy because im afraid of what people will say or think about me, i dont know how to enteract with others i live my whole life at home thinking about a life that i dream to have, you know like i actually have dreams about being skinny and having lots of friends and being real popular, its like i make up my own little fantasy life and dream about it all day, and when i actually do snap back to reality, i see myself in the mirror and wish i was dead, i hate my body so much, sometimes i wish i could just go to sleep and wake up skinny and have a whole new life but when i actually do wake up i see none of what i ever want to see. sometimes i cry to let out all my anger or i just lock up in my room and be bitchy with anyone who bothers me, i look at different people myspace page and say "i wish i looked like her" or "i wish i had her life" i sometimes lose my faith in god, because my life is horrible, i dont know if i believe in god or not, i mean i say i do because im suppose to rite? but idk i always wonder why he made me the way that i am and i look at everyone else and see that there perfect to me even if they do have certain problems going on in there life, i still rather look like them and have their life than to look like me and have my life. i just have so much anger built uo inside, when people say "oh u know the worlds coming to an end" i say i kno but what i really be thinking in the back of my mind is "i hope it end know so i can die" i think if i was skinny my life would be different, i wouldnt always be so upset all the time, i always think about getting gastric bypass (spellcheck) but its extremly high and i cant afford it, insurance-have non, money-ruserious-broke as h***, loan-denydenydeny everytime ive tried, so what do i do finish sitting here waiting to die, bcus as far as me kiling myself NOPE no can do, tooo afraid to anyway


  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • I was just like you!

    But I dont believe in God.. and I dont need God to make my life better.

    You know.. you it's really possible to wake up and be skinny and have that life you're dreaming about!

    Just.. it doesnt happen all at once.

    It takes lots of mornings of slowly waking up and having little things at a time be different.

    Exercising and losing weight is hard! I know! I used to weigh 210lbs and now I weigh 165! And I'm still losing weight... and I'm so happy.

    Just start by taking walks. And just try not to eat to much.. just being aware of what you're eating helps. Knowing what you put in your body.

    Cut out soda... drink water.

    Do a few sit ups and push ups.

    That's all.

    You dont have to run ten miles or go on some 500 calorie diet.

    Little things help SO MUCH!

    And if you f*** up and binge out.. it's okay! Just be careful and it'll be fine.

    Just.. never.... ever... give up.

    Life is a game... and it's hard to win.

    But it's the most rewarding game to play.

    DONT........ EVER....... GIVE......... UP!

    I dont have the life I thought about and lived in inside my head.

    But I'm damn close.. and I'm going to have it. Because it's what I want.. and I'm not going to give up til I get it.

    It may have taken me four years to get this far.... and it may take me four more to get where I want.

    But I'll be damned if I'm laying in my casket a giant lump of fat who never accomplished anything.

    I'm so worth more than that.


    And you KNOW you are!

    Because you're talking about it.. and you have wants.

    And you're still alive.

    Dont lose to yourself.

    And I'm not even going to wish you good luck...

    because you dont need it.

    You're going to get the things that you want.. and you're going to get things you never even knew you wanted.


  • life is what u make out of it. feeling sorry for yourself is not exactly the strategy you need to gain more selfesteem. trust me, i know what I'm talking about. everybody goes through rough times, and i cant say that i'm happy, but i try to make the best out of it, even though i dont feel like it. pitying yourself is so easy, but getting active, try to change something, is hard, but in the end worth it. im 23, and my life just turned to a halt, but i believe that everybody gets a chance to be happy in life. so stop whining and do something, like a healthy diet, learn to get out, try to be open, and start to respect yourself.

  • I'll be your friend, damn...it's all good ok!

  • mama, your young. If you want to be skinny then you can do it with willpower. Join the gym, take kickboxing class or spin class. Try Hardcore Hydroxycut with the workout. Trust me you will feel good in one month and then you will continue. Remember you're young and life is just beginning for you. I am yrs old and trust me, I know what I am saying

  • You just make life harder by feeling sorry for yourself!

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?