Letter to my lost love

Im in love with you. ill never be with you but im deeply in love with you and im afraid i always will be. youve been my best friend, my lover...but i am married to someone else. ive ended this so many times i cant count and each time i cant deny you when you call. i cant imagine hurting you that way, letting you think i dont care. i love you. but i have to do this now. i wish everything was different, but what exactly do i wish was different? do i wish i never got married, do i wish i never met you? do i wish i had done the right thing and ignored the soulwrenching connection before me? i guess i wish i met you first. if i could change anything in life, that would be it. but i cant. so please, if you love me like you say you do, let me go. i cant leave and youre just eating away at my life one day at a time here. i hurts me to say something to harsh to you, even here where youll never see it. but you have to know youre stopping me from moving forward, wherever forward may bring me. maybe back to you. i pray for that sometimes. i love you and i always will. when i die, it will be with you in my heart, hoping that i can finally come home to you the way i always wanted to, all my life, but the way that can never be in this life. or so it seems. pray with me, my love. move on but dont forget me. i hope you find peace. i hope i find peace. and if the only way that can happen is for us to be 'real'...then lets pray life leads us to that. take care of yourself and pray for both of us.

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