I'm sick, and I want to scream

I am living with T.I.As (mini strokes) meaning that at random times, the arteries in my brain thicken and I lose blood for a short period of time. Sometimes I can't talk or move, I'm trapped in my body until it passes. Other times I lose feeling in my face,arms and legs. It's scary as h***. While my doctors are in the process of figuring out how to fix it, I'm stuck. At any moment the condition could turn into a full blown stroke and it could kill me. I'm not saying this for sympathy and honestly I despise the looks of pity from family. What p***** me off is when I feel the need to vent, I'm not allowed. People tell me "life is hard,get over it". They clearly don't understand the seriousness, nor the fear that I'm dealing with. I'm afraid of being in the hospital for another long stay, and leaving my 2 year old to be raised by her grandparents. I'm afraid of not being around to be her mom, just like my mom isn't. I want to scream.

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  • You vent!! F*** what others have to say they don't feel what you feel

  • Vent away! Your fears are totally understandable. Being incapacitated in any way is scary. I'm sorry you are going through this. I think sometimes, people don't what to say. I would suggest maybe a support group or a therapist. And tell your friends exactly what you need. Tell them you're not looking for advice or for them to tell you it's going to be okay. Tell them you just need for them to let you vent. For the benefit of your daughter, you may want to have a will drafted and maybe other guardians if you don't want her in the care of your grandparents. Or if you just want them to continue a relationship, you can specify that you want visitation. Trust that the doctors figure it out and can get you treatment. And stay positive, stress can continue to make you sick. Best wishes to you.

  • So sorry to hear this. Medicine has come so far yet there are so many things that they cant fix.

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