Loser me

Her name is micah
And its been roughly 5 years since we last spoke
I still think of her
Still have lovely nightmares of her
Of us just hanging out
Waking up to the s*** hole that is my life
I fantasized suicide often ever since i was young
I hate myself so much
Would love to die slowly
Awake and aware of my physical system shuting down
Piece by piece
One organ at a time until my heart goes into cardiac arrest or my brain dries out and stops functioning.
Death by dehydration
Is the plan
Not because i miss her so much it really does hurt and its been driving me mad slowly over the years
No not her
Just me
Deep in my core i knew my punishment was to live as an embarrassment and a failure
The punishment is too much
So now ill take the slow, painful, but final exit out
For myself

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