I love my step child better than my own

I married a woman whose husband had been killed in a fatal car accident. My wife had run off with another man leaving me with a three year old child.

While I was dating the widow she revealed that she was pregnant with her deceased husband child and I told her it was ok. After the baby was born we started to court and I eventually married her.

I didn't directly adopt her baby because it to me would dishonor his father. He goes by his biological fathers name. In every other respect he is my son.

Ok twentyfive years later my own child has dropped out of high school done time in jail and is currently unemployed for obvious reasons. He's working on his GED.

My step son has finished college and has married and has two fine children of his own.

My biological son got some poor girl regnant and I'm the one paying the childs bills.

I think my own son took after his worthless irresponsible mother.


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  • My son keeps himself down. I include him in everything but as often as not he doesn't want to hang out with me. I'm aware that he might be jealous but like I said its his fault if he's out shone by his step brother.

  • It's great that you found love again and took a son in that was not your own biologically. But sounds like your own biological son was cheated out of a golden life. Sounds like he's dealt his own demons - growing up in divorced household where his father may or may have not compared him to this other golden son. Making him keenly aware that he was not good enough..or maybe he felt not good enough or could compete with his brother. And maybe you let him know, so it keeps him down. And/or maybe you continually talked bad about his "worthless/irresponsible" mom. It's one thing she was your ex wife, but she's still his mother. Maybe if you told your son you were proud of him, encouraged him - even for the smallest thing like going for his GED, told him you loved him..maybe he could be inspired to turn his life around. It's clear that you love him, you're just really disappointed in how he's turned out. And how do you help an adult child, help himself without totally enabling him? Maybe it's building up his self esteem that he can do something better than what he's doing now. Just a thought.

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