I am a girl, and I like a girl. I'm not
I am a girl, and I like a girl. I'm not bisexual, I don't think; I am in gravitation- I like who I like, regardless of their gender. Not very original, I know, but whatever.
Up until recently, I thought that the feeling was somewhat mutual. She would tell me things, things that made me excited [not that way, pervs], like that she would hear my voice in her head after we hung out. I don't know if that only sounds flirtatious because I want it to.
Now, during the recently, she has a boyfriend. A boyfriend that nobody likes. Oh, except her, of course. But the hopeful part of me doesn't believe that. Whenever I doubt her feelings for me, my mind manages to uncover evidence that convinces me that they must be true. I don't know if I'm in denial.
Tonight, while I was sitting next to her, I just wanted to lean over and kiss her. I might have, if we were alone. I fear what everyone else thinks. I kind of just want to tell you guys, but I don't know how. I'm afraid of this being permanent. I want to get closer to her, not scare her- or you- away from me. Especially if she really is straight. One day I may just want to forget that this ever happened.
You know, there was a commercial on one night a few weeks ago, and you know how we all have a habit of repeating random things that we hear back to each other? Well, the commercial said, "Will you go out with me?" and I nearly asked her. I felt this overwhelming urge to do it, and it was weird, because it was so involuntary, I didn't think about doing it, I just- almost- did. I can't help but wonder what she would've said. Would she still be dating him right now? Or could I have kissed her tonight?