To wishing i'd never been born. That had i not been born events in others peoples life that i interacted with would be different, i don't know if they'd be any better or worse but i know that by removing my interaction with them that they would be different.
I know i am to blame for me and my wife being broke, for the marriage problems we've got, for the miscarriage of our son, the heartache i caused her, her univesity education not happening, not beiing there when she needed me, for the small circle of friends we have, for the friends we do have not coming round so much.
I freely admit to being an a******, that i've used bullshit to cover up my failings and inadenquacy in life and others have suffered because of it.
Truly i was an accident, middle aged parents, who'd already had a large family. I dodged the bullet on being aborted or getting downs but i got hit with s*** and it's stuck with me.
I should be an alcoholic loser but i hate drinking, can't stand drugs.
Yeah if i had the b**** i'd leave my wife and know she'd be better off. Might just grow them real quick and know it's one good thing and disappear somwhere quiet and not bother anyone, no one will miss me. Sure you'll say self serving crap, feel sorry for me but f*** off. Time i was honest with me. about me, and yeah i don't deserve s***.