Is it Love or Depression?

I've been in love with you since that first kiss. Was that your intention? I was half-serious, half-daring you to act when I said we could never be together because I loved your best friend too much. So was it shock value to get in my pants, or something more?

I over-analyze every moment we spent together, everything you said, everything you say now online, so many years later.

I want to scream to the world that my husband and I are polyamorous. Why isn't everyone else? Why all this need for possession? I don't need you all the time. I don't need anyone like that. But I'm lonely at home with my toddler and I miss you like crazy even though it's been so long. And I won't cheat. Nope. So I sit here, wondering if you think of me as often as I think of you.

Do you like me? Check Yes or No.

Is this my depression talking? Am I destined to never be happy? To always want what I can't have? Then why does everything always circle back to you?

If only I had some common name to sign "anonymously", but I don't.

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