Nothing Like a Heaping Spoonful of Karma...
Wouldn’t you know it? I decided to rent out a room in my house and the woman of my dreams moves in. Literally a ‘queen on the streets and a freak in the sheets’. Beautiful, highly intelligent, sweet, fun, funny, open, a hard worker (unlike my last two wives) and I mean a SMOKIN’ HOT bod. She cooks, she cleans, my kid who is here every other weekend loves her, the neighbors love her. H***, my cat, who doesn’t like anybody, follows her around like a puppy.
She moved in to get away and hide from her ex who I guess was extremely abusive. Wanted to own her in every way he could. And, in a way, I could see why. When we go out, every guy's head turns. She gets hit on constantly. Women despise her. Yet, she pays no attention and sticks close to me. I can tell everyone’s wondering how an old f*** like me got someone like her but the truth is she’s 40 but she takes such good care of herself she doesn’t look a day over 25. She just stands out in every way.
I find myself wanting to “own” her, too. Not in the way her ex tried. I would never EVER do that to her. But I feel myself wanting her to be mine. I even feel guarded about her being around her male friends even though I know I have no call on her. I want her to stay but it’s winding down to the point where it’s almost time for her to move back to her home state. I want to say something but she is so skittish right now of any type of relationship thanks to what her ex put her through for five years. We have this amazing s**. I mean MINDBLOWING. We are highly attracted to each other physically. But from the beginning, she told me she didn’t want anything from it. At first, I was like JACKPOT! But now… she haunts every thought while I am at work. I like to be around her beautiful smile. I like the way she smells. The funny things she says.
She wants to go home. She is ready to be free and on her own. I want her to be happy. Her kids are grown and gone. She has no responsibilities and her options are wide open. I have to stay here because I have my son and it’s killing me inside to think of coming home to this house empty without her. When she moved in, I had just bought the place a several months earlier and she helped get it in shape, inside and out. I remind myself to enjoy her for now and that maybe circumstances will change. But I don’t know. When she talks about going home, it stabs me in the heart. I want to go with her.
But I hide what I feel for her. She has been a breath fresh air for this 53 year old man. She tells me I’m sexy, sends me sexy, beautiful pics. I even had my first threeseome with her and her friend because I told her I had never had one. (I thought I was going to have a friggin’ heart attack that night, I swear…) She’s adventurous and loves life. I don’t know if there’s anything she can’t do. She even taught my son how to fish in the lake behind our house. My son’s mother won’t even fix him a decent meal or make him bathe. But her? She’s everything. And... I can’t have her. Not in the way I want.
I make sure to treat her well while she’s here. Sadly, it’s been hard for her to accept at times because she hasn’t been on the receiving end of much kindness in her life. And yet somehow, she stays this thoughtful, loving human being who is always doing little things around the house for me and my son. H***, she even makes little treats for the cat. I love coming home every day to see her. Despite everything she’s been through, which she has told me some stuff, she never dwells on her past or complains of being a victim of anything.
This has just creeped up over the last few months. I ignored the growing feelings but, the truth is: I want her to stay, I want to take care of her. I had two wives I took care of because I felt it "my duty" and they both ripped me good. But this woman? Despite her difficult position of having very little, SHE HAS ASKED ME FOR NOTHING. NOT ONE THING. I WANT to take care of her. I WANT to provide the sense of security she’s never had. I can do it. I make great money and she’s worth it. She’s the best thing that has happened to me in a long, long while. But... she’s just passing through. And there it is. Karma for the a****** I’ve been all my life, I’m sure.