Realization

Yea i feel ya

What you're experiencing sounds like depression, a condition which is usually very treatable, with either therapy or medication, or both. Try the counseling first, with someone you are recommended to (from a friend, family member, or social worker), without any meds, and see how it goes. Please don't let this go untreated, because it can become worse and can even create physical pain. You have recognized that there is a problem; now it's time to seek -- and find -- treatment. I wish you all the best.