Am I a Psychopath?
I was in a... Neglectful relationship for over a year. Little did I know, about hallway through he was cheating on me with my best friend. They were the two closest people to me- almost the only people.
He was riddled with anxiety, depressed, suicidal... I always tried to take care of him, and hid how it was destroying me... My self harm, my depression grew... We fought every weekend because I'm a Christian, he hates God... He wanted to do all kinds of sexual activities with me, which I wasn't ready for. I blamed myself for him cheating.
It got to the point where I decided he would be better off dead. Literally, happier dead. He wanted to kill himself anyways? So I started with taking an animal skull I found... And smashing it to bits with a hammer. Harder than it sounds. I was going to move onto killing a stray cat or two, then one day I'll tell him we really need to talk, hug him close, and snap his neck.
Now we've broken up, haven't talked since. However, I still obsess over tormenting him... I want to tell him about when I lost my V-card to my current boyfriend, and all sorts of other things. Things to destroy him from the inside out. I want him to obsess over me. I want him to hurt. I want him to rip his own heart out of his chest from the overwhelming pain. I want him to cry nonstop. I want him to talk about me. I want him to feel guilt and betrayal like no one has ever felt before. I want him to ache to hug me again like to took for granted. I want him to beg for the kisses I used to give. I want him to sacrifice everything for me. I want to drive him insane. I want him to go mad. I itch for revenge.
Am I a psychopath? I think I need help. Help.