Am I a Psychopath?

I was in a... Neglectful relationship for over a year. Little did I know, about hallway through he was cheating on me with my best friend. They were the two closest people to me- almost the only people.
He was riddled with anxiety, depressed, suicidal... I always tried to take care of him, and hid how it was destroying me... My self harm, my depression grew... We fought every weekend because I'm a Christian, he hates God... He wanted to do all kinds of sexual activities with me, which I wasn't ready for. I blamed myself for him cheating.
It got to the point where I decided he would be better off dead. Literally, happier dead. He wanted to kill himself anyways? So I started with taking an animal skull I found... And smashing it to bits with a hammer. Harder than it sounds. I was going to move onto killing a stray cat or two, then one day I'll tell him we really need to talk, hug him close, and snap his neck.
Now we've broken up, haven't talked since. However, I still obsess over tormenting him... I want to tell him about when I lost my V-card to my current boyfriend, and all sorts of other things. Things to destroy him from the inside out. I want him to obsess over me. I want him to hurt. I want him to rip his own heart out of his chest from the overwhelming pain. I want him to cry nonstop. I want him to talk about me. I want him to feel guilt and betrayal like no one has ever felt before. I want him to ache to hug me again like to took for granted. I want him to beg for the kisses I used to give. I want him to sacrifice everything for me. I want to drive him insane. I want him to go mad. I itch for revenge.
Am I a psychopath? I think I need help. Help.

8 Comments

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • You are not a psychopath. Psychopaths are actually rare. They lack empathy. They do not seek revenge. They lack emotional depth. They live to survive.

  • You're fawkin crazy. You give a bad name Christians. You're a witch!!!

  • Dear Friend,
    No, you aren't a psychopath but you are a scorned woman. And in some ways that is worse. If you can try to get into therapy so that you can get over the rage that you feel for the terrible deceit you suffered. Take care now - brighter days are ahead.

  • You kidding me

  • You aren't a psychopath. You want vengeance. Psychopaths don't care enough about other people to put that much thought and effort into an ex. If you were a psychopath, you would have protracted the relationship and done what you wanted then. Good luck.

  • Yes!

  • You need to come clean to yourself. What is eating you up in "revenge" and it is not a good state to be in. You did not do any wrong by keeping your purity and not having s** with him. You did wrong by going into a relationship with a man you knew hated God; the very being that created you and whom you love. He has moved on; move on too and find solace in God's word. If you have actually given up your virginity to a man you are not married to; confess it to the Lord and endure the discipline (Hebrews 12), fast and pray and find healing for your soul. You will be okay and this feelings will leave you.

    This is how we as christians take revenge:

    14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

    17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

    “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
    In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
    21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

  • He Jesus stuff f****** blows.

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?