I hate being a stepdad!!!

Yea, I am a stepfather of two and I agree that kids, especially step kids are just a pain in the **. I am convinced that if not for “biology” and the innate predisposed primal drive within all of us to reproduce that the birth rate worldwide would pretty much drop to zero. This sanctimonious self serving idea that having children is “THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME” is simply parents way of trying to conform to a society that expects such attitudes about parenting. If parents will be TOTALLY honest with THEMSELVES they will agree with this and they will long for the days when they were not EXPECTED to sacrifice the rest of their life to raise ungrateful and self centered children. If people knew in their 20s what they know in their 40s having children would be LAST on their list for life accomplishments. Call me an **, call me selfish, and call me unloving but look DEEP into yourself and as a parent you miss and long for the days that you were childless. I know that I do…😔

Yo u knew what u was getting into, back out their life's you UN conditioned ape

"You knew what you were getting into"?? SERIOUSALLY?? Apparently you have never been a step-parent. Apparently you have never had the "privelige" of helping to raise children that would just as soon see you go away and never come back while at the same time holding their hand out EXPECTING you as the step-parent to give them what they want/need . Apparently you have never felt like you were simply being used to get these ungrateful, immature, and self-centered children raised and gone. Apparently you have not experienced the "joy" of helping to raise incredulous and smartass children that view you (step-parent) as nothing more than an uninvited houseguest. NOONE can possibly "know" what awaits them as a step-parent. It is an experience that noone can prepare you for. I hope for you that you never have to experience the "joys" of being a step-parent. When and if you do I imagine that your "views" and "opinions" on the subject will drastically change. Good luck...🙄

You're responsible for raising them. If you humiliate them for ***** their pants then they are going to hide it you a**hole

My sons dad isn’t his bio dad, but still his only dad. His bio dad never wants to meet him and has blocked me on everything. But my sons dad has been here since I was 9 weeks pregnant with him. So I wouldn’t call him a step dad so I don’t think he could relate with you

BUT my boyfriend of 4 years ( as mentioned above) has 2 kids with a woman who still wants him. I suffer from severe stress and anxiety. So I told him off if he sees his kids, I just don’t want them around me or my kid. Because if I had to deal with them and the ex, I wouldn’t be with this man.

Without knowing more information it is hard to give "advice" concerning your situation. I can only tell you what I have have ALWAYS told my friends over the years. NEVER, NEVER, date or marry someone with kids. It just isnt worth what awaits you down the road. Being a step-parent (I have had 5 step-kids/3 marriages) just plain **! It doesn't matter what age the kids are or how "in love" that you are with their mom/dad. It is a VERY, VERY, VERY difficult road to go down and even more difficult to navigate a marriage through. You will find that the kids WILL FIND a way to rip your marriage apart and that "bio-parent" will ALWAYS see you as the "outsider". As a step-parent you will NEVER have an opinion and your wishes and your hopes/dreams will consistently be secondary to the kids. You will NEVER be viewed as anymore than a "newcomer" in THEIR family and you will ALWAYS be second BEHIND the kids. You will find yourself being FORCED to compete with the kids for attention from your spouse. (the kids "bio-parent) BELIEVE me when I say that it is humiliating to have to compete with CHILDREN to recieve the attention that you should be getting from your spouse. If that sounds like fun then maybe step-parenting is for you. If it doesn't sound like something that you want to undertake then I suggest that you "cut the strings" NOW and save yourself years of grief, frustration, and heartache. I only wish someone would have told me this years ago..😩...GOOD LUCK..👍

I made that mistake too, marrying a woman with two children thinking it could work. No, it really can't. Don't date/marry someone with children.

I could fill volumes on all the damage I've taken being guilt tripped into being those kids (and their worthless father's) enabler under threat of retaliation. Especially with the oldest being ADD/Oppositional Defiant. Lying, stealing, you name it. My wife didn't have the guts to deal with her, to take her for therapy, and biodad was too busy smoking pot and being a ** to care so the problem got dumped in my lap. Everyone blaming me for this childs behavior, never mind that in our state custodial parents(my wife) are held accountable not stepparents. Everything was, and is, and will always be my fault.

I got one child of my own from this marriage, but I had to give the majority of my time and money (private schools, etc) to the stepkids because I had to make up for the fact that their Dad didn't love them, etc. so when my child's turn came (honor student) I had very little left to give. :((

I could go on and on, but I won't. I'll just say that no matter how nice the other person is, no matter how attracted you are, please please understand that this is only life you'll have; don't waste it by allowing yourself to be lured and manipulated into a soul-sucking career of supporting children that will have nothing but hate and disdain towards you for the rest of your life.

Yea, as a stepfather myself I TOTALLY agree with you and I can TOTALLY relate to your situation. My stepkids (both teenagers) just cause chaos and dysfunction in our family. Bio-Mom still sees them as innocent little babies that can do no wrong while in reality they (one boy- one girl/twins) are nothing more than immature, self-centered, incredulous, and smartass punk kids. I love their mom but the DAILY dysfunction that they cause and the way that "Mom" babies and coddles them at 16 years old is almost too much to watch and endure. I to thought that I could make this "blended family" thing work and be part of the family but in reality I think that I am just part of a plan by their mother to get them raised and gone. Sadly, by then however, the strain and friction that stepkids inflict upon the marriage will have destroyed any hope of their mother and I staying together.

MAN you got it right. My dumb ** married a mother of 3 at 23. Raised them for 11 years and got nothing from it after we split. Then my dumb ** did it again and now I'm going through **! Her kids are so disrespectful and draining. DO NOT take on someone's kids no matter how hot the mom is. Its a complete waste of time and money. I want out of this ** and can't wait to be free again!

God, I love hearing about someone besides me doing something stupid like marrying someone with kids and becoming a stepdad! Makes me feel ALMOST "normal". I have done it 3 times now for a total of 5 stepkids. No rewards, no appreciation, no recognition, just the feeling that I have been used to help raise someone elses children. Makes me feel like that I am only good for a paycheck. Stepkids (especially teens) are the absolute worst!! If your marriage with teen stepkids somehow survives then the resentment and distance that those step children caused during the marriage will most definitely destroy that marriage at a later date. If I could go back and change ONLY ONE THING in my life it would be to NEVER EVER date, much less marry anyone with children from another marriage.

Why did you do it 3 times then??

I think that I thought that the next time would be "different" and that I could learn from previous mistakes. Little did I know that nomatter how good your relationship is with the stepkids, that you will NEVER be more than just an outsider in their "family". When it comes right down to it, right or wrong, mom is ALWAYS going to side with her kids. That leaves good old stepdad on the outside looking in feeling like a ** fool for thinking he could actually be treated as a "leader" in the family and not just like another one of moms kids. Any other stepfather will know the humiliation of being viewed and treated like one of the kids. If you try and "assert" your place in the family you are just being a **. If you step back and take a passive approach concerning the children you are ultimately categorized as a child yourself. Sadly, it truly is a no win situation.

Horrible.... I'm there my self..

Wait until these kids turn 18......then hand them some gloves a forge their signature on a legally valid document allowing a boxing match. And then let that little ** catch some hands

Yea, my stepkids just drain me of money $1 and $5 at a time. They have ZERO conceot of money and think if they want it, that they should have it. I am SO tired of supporting their lazy, entitled, self-centered **. I live to see the day when their adult paycheck goes for rent and utilities and ONLY then will they realize that the $1 and $5 at a time ADDS UP! Until then I am stuck watching them put my wife and I in the poor house $1 at a time...😏

I'm a stepdad. Hands down the stupidest f****** thing I've ever gotten myself into...if you are a stepparent, you are absolutely 100% being used. I used to think about joining the French Foreign Legion, faking my own death, or just walking out of the house and not stopping until they find me face down in a drained pool somewhere. It takes two people on the same page to raise and discipline a child and you won't find that in a blended family or with parents who are divorced. I don't care what kind of superhero you think you are. We have a kid of our own together now so I choose to stay. To me it's an easy decision, be moderately miserable with boots on the ground in my kids life or go back to tackling clam with the potential for my kid to grow up like her mom or her sisters. At the end of the day kids these days are all s***. Doesn't matter if they're yours or someone else's, millennials really do **.

No doubt!! Kids today, ESPECIALLY teens, are ungrateful, arragont, entitled, lazy, self-centered, immature individuals. They think the entire ** world revolves around THEM AND THEIR WANTS!! When I was growing up that attitude would get your ** whipped with a paddle!! NO QUESTIONS ASKED!! Nowadays that attitude and behavior is just tolerated and considered "expressing yourself". We are ** UP OUR KIDS BY LETTING THIS GO UNCHECKED! I hate kids (teenagers) nowadays. If you don't , just take some time to talk to one. You will soon begin to realize just how messed up and self-centered that they really are! Then try raising one as a stepdad and being forced to "swallow" their ** in fear that their mom (the woman you love) will get ** at you! Yea, it is not a pleasant situation to be in. My advice, NEVER NEVER NEVER marry anyone with kids from someone else. Love may be grand, but being a step-parent will rip tjat love to ** shreds!!

Millennials ** indeed. I've raised two of somebody elses', and the manipulating obnoxious little bastards never grow up. Both are almost 30 and one still lives with us....guess which one? YUP! The boy. The girl at least moved into a house of her own (but it was only because my wife and I had the nerve not to do everything her way). The boy? Yeah he's 27 going on 2. My wife is part Swedish and Swedes are NIGHTMARES as parents. They let their kids get away with murder and if you DARE suggest little ** not be a little **, well YOU'RE the problem. I have actually had to sit through family meetings where everyone took turns telling me that I'm an abuser for ever DARING to speak to the wee little babies about their asinine behavior. I'm still right, they're still wrong, and when I have a heart attack and DIE I hope like I ** I ** my pants profusely so the peckerheads I've wasted my life with get to smell what they'e put me through.

Yea step kids REALLY do **. After almost 11 years my step kids finally turned 18 and graduated High School. It was a dream of mine that they would be gone by now as I assumed that at 18 they would want to build a life of their own. I held on through all the dysfunctional years and kept looking towards that 18 year old mark thinking that their mother and I would finally have some peace. Well now that it’s finally here they have no desire to go anywhere so now I have ADULT step kids in the house. I am now convinced that they will never leave. **, why would they want to? Bio-Mom babies them and does everything except wipe their butts. I hung on for 11 years hoping that one day they would leave. Now I see that won’t happen for a few more years if ever. The damage to our marriage that their (step kids) dysfunction has caused can never be repaired and it seems my only recourse is to walk away wounded and left to grieve for a marriage that really never had any hope of succeeding. Step kids are death to a marriage.

Man I’ve been a stepdad for three years and had multiple step parents. It’s all f*****. The girl is a brat. She lies to us constantly and mom took an evening job so while I work 50+ a week I still hav to do all the parenting. This girl is a piece of S***. I loved being her stepdad but now it’s always calls from school, lies about everything and quite frankly I’m f***ing done. I love my wife and our two kids but the girl can go back to her s*** dad’s and get out of our life. She yells that at us when she doesn’t get her way and I’ve started telling her “pack your bags or shut up.”

As a stepson with 3 stepdads under my belt I proclaim that this whole stepfamily experiment is a waste. How anyone thinks this is a good idea in our sick broken nuclear family world is a fool.
To all you stepdads out there: ** OFF

They all took your lil ungrateful punk ** in. Have some gratitude you lil **

** off you ungrateful **

We wish you’d ** off to you ungrateful little **. No one wants you. Not the three stepdads or the real one. That’s why the ** bounced. You are a waste of existence.

As a current stepdad to teenagers I will not resort to using curse words as they only show a lack of intelligence. What I will do is to wish for you that you NEVER become a stepdad. You may think that you have the "inside track" to being a good step parent because if your "experiences", but I ASSURE YOU that you do not. Being a step parent just plain ** and it is ungrateful and entitled step kids that make it so VERY miserable. I wish you better luck that what 99.9% of stepdads expeeience.

Dude, your feminist mother and her feminist comrades DESTROYED the "nuclear family".

You are a victim of the NF's destruction, not a victim of the NF itself, because you never really had one.

Ditto that. You go ** yourself too and try not to get your first ** knocked up. Loser

Also tell your ** mother to eat it, succubus ** can take care of your punk ** till either of you croaks

We love f***ing your single
Mothers you ** off little b**ch

I am a srep father at the begining everything was great cause i did not have any contact with them however things have changed and now we have to take into consideration his opinion that is something that really ** i dont wanna ask him what to do that ** is really killing my marriage

You are retarded, kys

I have been a step father for 20 years now it f****** ** the wife's daughter chose a druggie dumb f*** i thought when i finally raised them i would be done but ** no its just starting now there are grand children i have to help raise now the f****** daughter has no one to help her when her husband gets physical with her my step son has a horrible wife my step daughters husband was sleeping with my stepsons wife they wont leave each other they just bring home the same old bull**** over and over again it is taking my life.

Personally as a step kid this what would be a call out for help. You need to sit down with your step kids after finding evidence or something like catching the terrible wife and the terrible husband and remember it’s ** your step kids too. Not only that their children, your grandkids. They need you man. So if I were you I would get evidence, sit down with your kids talk to them softly and show them “evidence” or whatever it is you’re gonna use. Yes they will be upset, but they would rather know the truth then keep living a lie. Yes they won’t be happy but then they will meet newer better people who will love their kids and them and change their life around. You have the power to help change their lives but instead you complain. If you do this that is a major step of showing you care. Something I wish my stepdad would show. Mine had never said I love you. But I’m sure you probably have. You don’t want hem to live horribly so fix it and save them.

Uh, his comment was quite clear as to why what you said won't work.

I hear ya dude. My 16 y/o step son is the most ungrateful little SOB. I've raised him the past 11 years. He alkie/drug addict father dropped dead of a heart attack 5 years ago and he still idolizes the guy while I get no appreciation for raising him whatsoever. I'm just counting the 1.5 years he's got left in school and I hope like ** he's out.

I hope that works out for you. Mine just turned 18 and graduated High School and apparently he isn’t going anywhere. Like you I was holding on until he turned 18 thinking that he would finally move out. Not the case though as now he just stays up all night playing video games and smoking pot and sleeps all day. **, he has no reason to leave!! Looks like I will be the one leaving instead. I held on for 11 years and nothing is going to change. He is a pot head mommas boy and I have just had all I want.

Get out before you knock her up