Deflated

I want to give up! I am a single mom who devotes everything I can for my teen. I get no help! I have one neighbor who parties all the time, she is NEVER home, and when she is, she is locked in her room so her kids still have to fend for themselves. She steals my internet cause my kid keeps giving out the damn password, her kid eats everything in my house when I work my 2nd job and get home a few hours later than usual. She tried to give me advice today about my sons grades! The problem is my son thinks he can stay out late at night with her kid and I have been trying to be lenient as my sons counselor wanted me to trust him and give him space; now he's failing school! Any advice please!

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  • Move!

  • I guess I really just need to get tougher, and pull back on some things

  • Moving is not really an option right niw

  • It's tough being a single parent. You have everything on you and when your kids do nothing to help out it only makes things worse. I would be straight with your Son and tell him things are going to change if he doesn't do his part to help you out. Change the password and he will have to wait for you to log on if he doesn't want to cooperate with the rules.

  • I like the reward system! I will also change the password and not give him the new one!

  • I think you need to go to a bar. Meet a couple guys and get fuc ked real good. Take your mind of things. Seriously.

  • Tried that last night and it didn't work for long but while it did I was in heaven. Going out again tonight and maybe it will happen again. Wish me luck.

  • Wtf ^^^^^ lying derailed - all some of you idiots think about is s**, I'll blow my own hair back jerkoffs

  • Only hoes do s*** like that am I am not a hoe, I am a dedicated mother!

  • You have to get that out of your head. Its not being a hoe. Why deprive yourself of great o******. Milk that puss y of yours. You know you need it. Im sure your panties are soaking right now reading this. Bang thay pus sy with a warm bath when you get home. You deserve it. You took great care of your son. Its time for you to take care of you.

  • This thread was not about sexuality please stop derailing this!

  • No thanks!

  • Don't give your child the access code to the Internet, put a lock on a closet or cupboard and lock your food in there, if it's "broken into" then it becomes a police matter and you can legally end it. Leave a certain amount of food your child and make him understand if it's shared with the neighbor he will be the one hungry until you get home. I know it sounds harsh but the children of today have no grasp on reality and as for your counselors advice, that's the trouble with the spoiled little bastards too much pampering and not enough discipline, time for you to find a new counselor.

  • Thank you both - all good suggestions! I deep down know I will never give up, I just wish I could catch a break. Luckily, my son has a wonderful counselor who is amazing and I have no doubt that he will continue to help my son - Just wish I could be stronger and not do damn tired :)

  • Even though you're taking care of your son, you also need to take care of you. Make little tweaks to your routine. Like drinking more water, trying to get more sleep, exercise, eat healthy..it's not going to be perfect but it adds up and can help you feel better and then you'll feel unstoppable. You know you're strong, just dig deep and find it. And tell yourself "I am" not "I wish". Call up your friends/family and reconnect. Sometimes a good laugh can really help reset everything. Or call a friend and set up a time to go and do something..see a movie. And when you can afford to..treat yourself to a facial or mani/pedi. Look up groupons for fun deals.

  • I definitely need more water! I could never afford a mani/pedi. I have some friends from work whom I adore but we never get together - one girl asks all the time and I would love to go sit by her chiminea and drink a few I just can't even afford a six pack! She says she would even drive me home as I do not drink and drive. I really have to get over there cause I never am around adults! My family works 60-70 hours a week and I barely see them, always afraid what will happen if I leave for a few hours , the last time I worked late one of the kids broke a Halloween sword with fake blood in it and it got on my couch and rug, not to mention there wasn't a single thing left to drink when I got home. I love movies and reading; gonna hit the library! Maybe hide the drinks in a different spot as well - thanks for the advice!

  • Nope! No giving up allowed! You're doing a good job, Mom. Keep on doing what you're doing, just tweak things a little. You don't need to justify to your child or the neighbor why you are changing the password. But if you do then explain to your son just how expensive it is and that it is not okay to EVER share the password. Usage is only for you and him. If he continues to share the pw, you will need to cancel. He will then have to use the public library for wifi access. Or change it and then you update the password on the devices and he is no longer privy to that info. He's probably giving it to the neighbors so that they'll like him. For the food - You should just buy really healthy stuff and then her kids will definitely not be over raiding your cabinets. Your the mom, you're not your child's friend. So enforce the rules you set out for him. Let him know when he follows the rules and gets his grades up, there will be some sort of reward. And when he doesn't, then there will be some sort of punishment. The counselor says to be lenient, but he's not going to deal with the fall out of this plan when your child doesn't pass high school or gets in to trouble. Your son is at the rebellious age where he's finding his independence and he wants to be cool and hang out with the kid next door. But you can't let him do whatever. Make the argument that when he's 18 he can stay up all night, but now he has a curfew. And if he has that much time and his homework is done, then he can help pay for things around the house. Have your kid get a PT job. He's old enough to get a part time job at a grocery store or something. Consider touring some local community, trade and 4yr colleges to get him excited about his future. And talk to him about his grades and why they're important to keep up.

  • First make a new password and don't tell the kids. Second make an almost reward based system with your son. If he gets better grades he can stay out. Etc

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