Forgive?

A few years ago I had a short 4 month online fling with an ex who I had known for 30 years we were each other's first loves. I knew nothing would come of it, he lives 3 states away. I needed someone to talk to, make me feel good while my husband was at work or asleep because of his hours.
Well, eventually My husband found the information and I was raked over the coals repeatedly for the last 3.5 years. I have no contact with someone who had always been my friend and I don't try to have any other friends or try to even put myself in potentially compromising situations.
About 6 My husband started talking to an old girlfriend from his early teens. He knew we already had a devastating relationship problem with exes before. Yet he chose to keep talking to her until it became more than that. They live in the same town, They have a history, and I feel so betrayed, hurt, angry and hollow. I knew nothing could come of what happened with my ex because of distance. But being within 15 minutes of someone makes you question if all the times he said he was getting this or that or with a friend that they weren't together.

I guess turn about is fair play...

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