Girls: I kicked my ex in the nuts
I dated my ex-boyfriend for about a year. I broke up with him because he cheated on me with 3 other girls and verbally abused me. Anyway, I saw him at a party a while back and he confronted me in a hallway. We were alone and he said we “had to get back together.” I said no so he grabbed my arm and twisted. I broke free and kicked him as hard as I could right in the b****! I was able to catch both of his babymakers and drive those suckers hard with my pointed boots. After I rocked his b*******, he fell down and puked. The look on his face was priceless.
Anyway, I guess I got him so good his nuts swelled up to the size of oranges and one ruptured and had to be removed (I play college soccer so I know how to blast a b*******!). I feel a little bad but I’ve also heard he has been telling people he will never mess with a girl again and says he is glad I did not rupture his other nut. He now wears an athletic cup protector all the time to save his remaining jewel. My girlfriends on the soccer team now call me the "nut remover" and say I should hang up a fake pair of nuts like a hunting trophy on a tombstone background with the words "RIP Brian's Nuts-Destroyed By Girl Power" underneath them. Other people say I should hang up a guy's athletic cup as a symbol of female power of male weakness.
Any other good nicknames? And what should I hang up?