Girlfriend trouble

I'm divorced, with a son. My girlfriend is wonderful, and we love each other but she only loves me. She says she can't think of the future with me because she isn't ready to raise a child, I get that completely to be honest, I'm a Dad and half the time my son is going so crazy even I don't want to raise a child! However it's starting to affect our relationship now we've been together for a while. She wants to be more spontaneous, go on random trips, nights out, whatever but obviously there are days and times I can't do that. I have to be there for emergencies and the like too and it's getting to her. It's getting to me too, it's like we're both holding back, just in case. Me in case she finds it all too much and leaves for a less complicated situation and her because she doesn't want to get disappointed by me having to cancel, putting my sons needs above hers in some way, or her parents not approving.

We don't want to break up but it seems like an unspoken agreement we have is that we'll break up eventually. So we're both just biding our time and being happy by ignoring the future at the moment.

Life is hard!

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  • Your son is your first priority. You do not have a choice.

  • I am guessing you were divorced before you met her. So she knows you had a son. What did she expect? If she knew all of this beforehand, then she set herself up for this issue.

  • Life is as hard as you want to make it. In you case, dating a woman who knows you have a child, but isn't ready for children. The logic.... Spontaneity is great, but even people with pets can't do that on a regular basis. We all have our priorities and responsibilities. It's one thing to not be ready to be a parent, but she's essentially telling you to choose between her and your son. Telling you that she only loves you and not your son, and you're still with her? She has to know that this is a package deal. And if she had problem with children, she should not be dating men with children. You have your answer. And what is this part of her parents not approving? That you have a child? Do you need any more reason not to be with her? Please don't have her around your son. You need to find a woman who accepts you both. Sorry, but she sounds very pretty immature and selfish. You have your priorities in place, as does she. They just don't match and you can't force this.

  • Wasn't exactly looking for advice, just wanted to get things off my chest. Thank you for your thoughts though! Yes her parents don't approve because I have a child. She isn't around my child, on my days with my son we don't see each other, because actually neither of us are ready for that. I don't think she's so immature to be honest, she simply doesn't know if she even wants kids in the future.

  • I guess that you're life is hard because of what you've described. I know that you don't necessarily want advice but maintaining a relationship with a woman who does not want or like children is a waste of your time too. Move on.

  • I dunno, I didn't want kids until I had 1

  • And now you have. Consider yourself lucky.

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